#One was an ask where everything i wrote got fucking lost in the middle of writing it bc of tumblr.

[drifloonz]

o yea my keyboards fixed now . i might forget to do requests or Give up halfway and leave it rotting in WIPs but i will try to rember.. i have at least two i want to do (eventually) when i have the energy . thankyou all for being patient i am god awful at this

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Hi hi!!! I just found your blog and I love how you wrote Astarion. I have a small request if you're still taking them!

Because of Halsin's one line about how his wildshape is hard to repress I have a headcanon that certain druidic animal forms get triggered by certain emotions. So what if a druid Tav was hurt or scared and got stuck in animal form, and Astarion had to calm them down long enough for them to shift back/get healed

Aww, I like this. But some TW: The reason for them being hurt/scared is fucked and involves dead children. I killed off some NPCs for this one (but they live in the real game I swear!) Also set in Act 2, after he confesses. Just so you know! Don't trigger yourself for this.

~

There was a reason that Astarion always tried to convince you to not leave him behind at camp. Mostly because it could be dreadfully boring, doing nothing but sitting there waiting for your return. But also because he didn't like being out of the loop. There had been many moments, too many, where he had been the sole reason you were still standing. Whether that be stabbing someone in the back who held a dagger to your throat or being the one to help you back on your feet from the brink of death, Astarion had gotten very good at keeping you alive.

He didn't trust anyone to watch out for you the way he could, a belief that was instantly strengthened when the group came back. With you nowhere to be seen. It was only Halsin and Shawdowheart, beaten and bloodied as they limped their way forward.

The sight of them had Astarion on his feet in an instant, an awful feeling settling in the pit of his stomach as he waited for you to slink out of the tree line to join them. But nothing.

"Where are they?" Astarion asked, his voice loud and fraught enough to cut through the others questions on what happened, "Why isn't Tav with you?"

Neither of them answered, instead they swapped a knowing grimace. The silence was enough for Astarion's blood to go cold, the worst jumping to the forefront of his mind. B-But that couldn't be. The two in front of him wouldn't just leave her to die, would they? He would hope not, otherwise he'd be forced to bleed them both dry. Astarion was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even realized how heavily he was breathing, how his hands were trembling at the very thought of your being gone. Your corpse just left behind for the wolves in the cursed Shadowlands.

"Astarion, breathe," Halsin said gently, the behemoth of a man suddenly standing in front of him, his hands gently resting on his shoulders, "I know where they are, they're okay. They just... aren't exactly themselves right now, or at least not the version you know."

"If they're okay then why in the hells aren't they here?" Astarion seethed back at him, swatting his touch away before steeping back, "You just left them out there? Alone?"

"It's not that simple," Halsin started, right as Shadowheart piped up, "Karlach is with her. We aren't that incompetent."

"Well considering that our leader is missing, I wouldn't exactly call you capable," Astarion barked back at her, already turning back towards Halsin, "Take me to them. Now."

The venom in his voice would have surprised Astarion himself if he was capable of thinking about anything but you dead in the middle of nowhere. He barely even had the patience for Halsin to get adequate healing, but it was better than having to wait for him to limp the entire way there. He felt antsy and off center for the entire journey, completely foreign emotions taking over him. He didn't care about people like this, for the precise reason that it led to these horrifying moments of uncertainty. He didn't know what he would do without you anymore. He didn't want to ever find out.

It figures that you would go and almost get yourself killed right after he admitted a portion of his feelings to you. And now everything he wished he'd said was invading his every thought.

"Oh come on now, don't make that face! You know me!"

The sound of Karlach's voice was enough to bring him out of his own head. She was up ahead, kneeling next to a small cave opening as she spoke, "For something so cute, you're being a bit of a pisser right now. Aren't you?"

Astarion didn't miss the bodies littering the way between where he stood and the cave, a mix of homely gnolls and dead tieflings, some that he unfortunately recognized from the grove. He didn't take the time to examine them closely, but... he was aware that many looked young. Much, much too young to have died here.

"There they are," Halsin sighed as Karlach cooed at the cave opening, "They've been in there since we stumbled upon all of... this."

"They've gotten less scratchy at the least," Karlach added, standing up with a stretch, her gaze pointedly avoiding the massacre in front of them, "But they won't stop hissing up a storm. I tried to pull them out by the scruff and almost lost a hand, so I'm thinking we may have to wait this one out."

Astarion ignored her as he got closer to the cave, his eyes widening at what he saw. It was you, or at least he was thought it was. He was well-aware of your druidic abilities and he had seen you polymorph into a ferocious beast many, many times. But never like this. No, you always had a human air about you when you shifted, the reality of your true shelf always shining through your eyes, never without perfect control.

But now, you were cowering in your panther form, your eyes daring back and forth, your coat so covered in blood that it nearly looked like you had been swimming in it. You even hissed at the sight of him of all people, your teeth bared as you backed farther against the cave wall, nothing but pure animal fear and rage behind your eyes.

"It can happen sometimes," Halsin explained with a frown, "Tav is very connected with this form, perhaps too connected. Enough so for it to take over when they're particularly distressed. It used to happen to me even, many, many moons ago. It can take hours to change back, maybe even days. And it can be very... difficult to remember your life outside of instincts."

Well wasn't that just fucking awful? Figures there had to be a drawback to such a powerful advantage. But he'd be damned if he'd leave you out here alone for days. And he doubted that the extra audience would help with anything.

"Leave us," Astarion ordered, his eyes still on you, "I'll find a way to bring them back to camp."

Halsin and Karlach exchanged a glance, obviously weary at the idea. Karlach cleared her throat, "Astarion, I know that the two of you are, um, close, but I don't think you can do anything-"

"Watch me," Astarion said, his words petulant even to his own ears. But he meant it. If anyone could help you through whatever this was, it was going to be him, "If I'm not back before the sun rises feel free to look for me. Now leave."

"But she could kill you on accident! And if my best friend had to wake up to that-" Karlach tried to argue, interrupted by Halsin putting a strong hand on her shoulder, "Just because part of them is lost doesn't mean all of them is. Astarion can handle himself."

Astarion was a bit surprised to receive the druid's support, but he wasn't about to argue over it. He nodded at them, "I'll be fine. Now go, I don't think the crowd is helping with their nerves."

Astarion watched them walk away, only relaxing when they were out of sight. It felt like he could finally breathe again. There you were, safe and sound if not a bit... changed. But he could work with that.

Astarion sat cross-legged to the side of the cave entrance, his voice soft but scolding as he spoke, "'I'll be safe Astarion, don't worry about me Astarion, you're such a little overthinker Astarion.' And now look at you, trapped in a cave with a cat's body. Darling, I think it's high time that you start listening to me."

Astarion hadn't been expecting an answer, but the pitiful little chirp you let out brought a smile to his face. He scooted a bit closer to the entrance, careful not to actually cross the threshold as he spoke, "I'm serious Tav, do you know how horrible it was to see them come back without you? I'd say a punishment would be in order, if you weren't too busy giving it to yourself that is."

Another small, dejected noise, but it sounded closer this time. Astarion glanced at the entrance, smiling when he saw you sitting there on all fours, your tail twitching as you peeked outside. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing to do but Astarion slowly brought his hand up, hovering it right in your face while praying that you wouldn't take the chance to bite it off, "It seems like you haven't lost the faculty for understanding language yet. Lick my hand if I'm right."

You did, your large sandpaper tongue gliding over his palm before retreating. You looked... different than before. In a good way, but not a whole way.

"That's a good kitty," Astarion praised, laughing at the way the pet name made your brows scrunch up. Perhaps you weren't fully yourself, but enough of you was there for him to know you'd be getting him back for that little quip, "Oh don't look at me like that. You're the full-grown adult in the body of a glorified housecat."

The little growl you let out at that just made him laugh harder, "A very pretty housecat. Does that help my love?"

You didn't answer. Instead you turned with a huff and retreated back into the cave, your demeanor much more relaxed than before. Relaxed enough for Astarion to venture in there after you. It was a small space, just large enough for a panther to lay and a man to sit. You didn't hiss or growl as he settled in, just watched him with sharp eyes.

Astarion didn't like it. You were usually so tactile with him, always finding reasons for touch, even if they were simple. Standing shoulder to shoulder, intertwining your fingers together, hugs and kisses innocent enough to make Astarion melt. Even in your animal form, not touching you just felt... wrong.

But Astarion also wasn't trying to get mauled. He kept his hands to himself, his head cocked as he stared at you, "Are you honestly going to stay all the way over there? We might be here all night darling, you wouldn't want me to be cold would you?"

Perhaps that was manipulative phrasing, but at least it worked. You shuffled closer, resting your head in his lap while staring up at him with those big eyes.

"See?" Astarion cooed down at you, taking the chance to pet your head, "Isn't that better?"

You didn't answer, instead you closed your eyes, a light purr coursing through you. You really did make an adorable panther, even when your fur was crusted with blood and the tiniest bit of gore. Perhaps you didn't smell that best at the moment, but you sure were cute. You fell asleep there, right in his lap, your body finally fully relaxed.

This wasn't exactly how Astarion intended on spending his night, but there were plenty of worse things. Like having the bury the love of his life for example. Or watching a gnoll tear into their corpse. But luckily enough for him that didn't happen. No, he had you with him, safe and sound. Panther or not, he loved you, and one of these days he would get the courage to admit it out loud. Hopefully sooner than later, considering how easily you could be taken from him.

Astarion hadn't planned on falling asleep with you, but you were so warm, and the sound of your happy purring was nearly hypnotic. The next thing he knew he was out, awaking hours later to a dark cave and a different weight set in his lap. But not an unfamiliar one.

Astarion glanced down, breathing out a sigh of relief when it was you back to normal, seemingly shifting in the middle of the night. You were laying in what seemed to be an extremely uncomfortable position, your cute face smooshed against his leg as you slumbered.

"There you are," Astarion murmured, the quiet sound of his voice still enough to jolt you awake. You blinked your eyes open, sitting up with a start as you frantically looked around.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Everything's okay," Astarion said gently, tugging you back to him, "You just had a little... incident. That's all."

You nodded, the memories from the day seemingly hitting you all at once. He could see the tears start to well up in your eyes as you stared at the ground, "I... I remember the tieflings. We found them too late. And I saw one of those things gnawing on... on Silfy. And another on Mattis and I just... lost it."

Oh gods. Astarion didn't exactly have a soft spot for children, but the thought of seeing one of the ones you had saved, eaten alive was horrifying. Even against the things he had seen.

"Come here love," Astarion murmured, holding his arms out; his heart breaking at the look on your face.

You went to him, nearly collapsing in his arms as you cried into his shoulder, "I didn't save them. I- they were right there. And I didn't save them."

"You can't save everyone," Astarion said as he stroked your hair, "Not every life can be your responsibility. It just can't."

"Why not?" You sniffled, looking up at him with tired eyes, "Why does this have to keep happening? Why can't I do something about it?"

"Because the world wasn't made for people like you," Astarion said honestly, "It is cruel and horrific and it doesn't deserve you. But it needs you anyway. It needs someone who cares, despite everything that proves you shouldn't. And that's not fair, but it's true."

Part of him could scarcely believe such words were even his own, let alone that fact that he believed them. But he did. You couldn't save everyone, no. But that didn't stop the fact that those you could mattered. That your kindness and passion for good did mean something, it meant enough to help hundreds of people. And enough to change him. Astarion would never be the same after meeting you. He didn't want to be, but even if he did the change was irrevocable. Because that's just the effect you had on people. And he felt so damned lucky that he was one of them.

You nodded against him as you let all of your tears out, his words meaningful but not enough to stop the pain completely.

But that was okay. Astarion wasn't going anywhere.

[runnning-outof-time]

Hey, I love your stories so much, Thank you for your beatiful work❤️ “Did you even miss me?” With Tommy as much angst you can write maybe ?

Hi there, anon! Thanks so much for sending this in! I hope you like what I’ve done here! I tried to do as much angst as I could. Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!

Three Years

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of war

Word Count: 636

Summary: Tommy’s attempts to reconnect with (Y/N) don’t go as he hoped they would.

“(Y/N), wait!” Tommy called for (Y/N) as he hastily followed her out of the Marquis. She was still several steps ahead of him, the pouring rain not slowing her down one bit. “Stop fucking walking, please!”

“Why?!” she yelled back to him, slowing her pace down to see if he’d notice. Within seconds, she felt his hand on her shoulder before he spun her around to face him. “Why should I have to stop for you, huh?!” she asked, venom laced into her words as her angry eyes found his.

“I wanted to speak to you,” he answered her, keeping his voice level. He had no right to be angry.

“Speak to me? You finally want to do that?” her response was spoken in an incredulous manner. Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but she continued before he was able to. “Why the fuck did you even come to this pub? It’s one of the few that I can go to; where I know I won’t see you. But now you’re here, and you’re in my fucking face, and you’ve ruined my night!” she went on with her rant, her voice raising with each word she spoke. She didn’t care that she was screaming in the middle of the street though. This was what he deserved.

“(Y/N), listen…”

“No,” she shook her head, cutting him off again, “no, I’m not going to listen to you, Tommy. You lost your chance to speak when you didn’t come to visit me for three-fucking-years. I wrote to you, I worried about you every single day when you were in France, and then the war ended and I got nothing.” She paused a moment, taking a deep breath in hopes to stop her lungs from burning. Her angry eyes found his again, and she stared into them for a moment before asking the question that was burning in her mind: “did you even miss me?”

Every planned answer that Tommy was stacking up in his mind vanished after hearing her final five words. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and instead he stood there like a fool, his brows scrunched together and jaw slack as he let everything she just said sink in.

“You know what, I don’t even want to hear your answer,” (Y/N) broke the silence, dismissing him before he even had the chance to think of a response. She turned and began walking away from him then, leaving the lighted vicinity of the pub so that she could return to her home.

Tommy stood there and watched her walk away. He was itching to rush to her side; to escort her home so that he could ensure nothing happened to her. But he knew that she didn’t need him to do that. He also knew that him doing so would probably make things worse than they already were.

To put it simply: she was right. Three years was too long of a time for someone to be gone for. Tommy had his reasons, sure, but those put aside, he still hurt her. He hurt the woman who’d been there for him right up to the day he boarded the train for France. He hurt the woman that his mind would drift to while he was stuck in the tunnels and trenches. He hurt the woman he thought he’d have by his side for the rest of his life.

And now he had to come to terms with the fact that she was gone forever. He shouldn’t have came to this pub; shouldn’t have asked around about her and then intentionally sought her out. If only he’d known better…then he wouldn’t have been caught out in the rain. If only he didn’t let three years pass by.

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @youtifulsunshinelixfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @iambored24601 @shaddixlife

MASTERLIST

[burins]

Hi! I need the director's cut for "get out before the drop" please!

oh MAN. thank you for asking about get out before the drop! the jaydick topdrop fic is one of my favorite things I've written. i've been a little reluctant to talk about my jaydick fics because part of me was worried i was going to get death threats in my inbox and i got enough of that at work. but fuck it! i'm very proud of those fics- I think they're some of my best characterization work.

i wrote the bulk of get out before the drop on my phone at 2 AM after waking up in the middle of the night (like all the best fics: while slightly possessed.) like everything i write it's about bodies, but it's also about identity and boundaries and how your own understanding of those can smash up against someone else's. i say that not because i generally set out to write fics that are capital A About Things, this isn't an episode of degrassi, but it's kind of obvious what themes I had rattling around in the trunk.

continuing the rest of this below the cut (including discussion of consent and sexual assault)

obviously it's also a fic about consent. I said this in a few comments but I think fandom often sticks to one kind of story about consent-- which i absolutely understand. your standard rape recovery fic is a very cathartic story for many, many people! but in real life your partner is not a perfect fuck machine who dispenses sex in exactly the way you want it, in part because they are a human being and not a mind-reader. but also in part because for anyone, but particularly for survivors, it is often difficult to tell the difference between "this is uncomfortable but in a good and healing way" and "oh god i gotta eject." and that's no one's fault! learning to listen to your body again after ignoring its signals for a long time is hard, and it sucks, and sometimes you learn where your boundaries are by whacking right up against them.

that's all general; in particular i wanted to write that kind of story for dick and jason, who are two people who have lost control of their bodies innumerable times and in incredibly dramatic ways. i think that has got to fuck with your head unbelievably! i think dick in particular is extremely used to pushing through physical discomfort to get what he wants to achieve, whether that's a mission objective or a training goal or emotional closeness. he's been doing it since he was a kid on the aerial bars! he started out ignoring his body way before the multiple on-page sexual assaults that DC doesn't want to acknowledge as sexual assaults. and also all of the mind control, of which there is so much that i wrote a whole other fic about it.

jason, on the other hand, I think is someone who tells himself one story: he has very carefully forged his body into exactly what he wants it to be, which is a weapon. and he is determinedly not thinking about the ways in which he has had absolutely no control over his body (his death, his resurrection, the pit-related changes.) the story Jason tells himself is actually quite similar to the one Dick is clinging to, which is another reason I love to write about them.

a side note: I'm of the school that doesn't ascribe to long term pit madness. I think Jason comes out of the pit a little crazy in ways that have everything to do with profound trauma and very little to do with supernatural whammies. he makes his own choices immediately after coming back and they are bad ones. I think taking that agency from him makes the story much less satisfying and much less tragic. and there's plenty of other ways he loses agency! he died!

all of this was rattling around my head while I was writing. but then I had to actually end the fic. which I struggled with! I was worried the ending - where Dick says alright, let's go again, redo - would come off too pat. but I also didn't want to fall into the trap of making dick a weeping damsel. (fandom's general desire to make dick grayson experience misogyny could be an essay in its own right.) and ultimately I'm happy with where I ended it! it is almost certainly a bad idea for them to jump right back into sex after both of them had panic attacks. and what is jaydick but not a bunch of bad ideas that somehow end up working out.

this post is so long. I didn't even get into the identity stuff, but I feel like that is much more on the surface of the fic and I kind of said what I wanted to say in the fic itself. thank you for asking!

director's commentary meme!

[corrodedseraphine]

timezone | #2 so fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader (mentions of her having long hair and bigger thighs), chrissy cunningham x robin buckley

chapter summary: Keeping his promise, Eddie heads to sunny California immediately after his second tour to find his friends and, more importantly, the girl who hasn't left his heart despite being out of touch for about three years. Full of hope, he ends up at a bar with a strangely familiar name. The evening turns out to be full of surprises, not just for him.

the story is also avaliable on ao3

previous chapter | masterlist | eddie munson masterlist | general masterlist

songs that I used here: BABY SAID and TIMEZONE by Måneskin

as always, thank you @i-me-mine for help and support, if not for you most of my works wouldn't be published 🥺

I can't count how many times I've changed something here, when I wrote the chapter, everything seemed to look good, but now I have extremely mixed feelings about it. I will be happy if you like it, but I will also understand if you don't, thank you for reading anyway ♥

"How can I help?" a middle-aged woman asked, smiling warmly. If someone had told Eddie a few years ago that he would find himself in this place as he is now he would have laughed at them. Looking around, he felt definitely out of place. The fact that he could now afford to be here still seemed like a bizarre dream.

"We, uh- We are looking for an engagement ring." he said, smiling shyly.

"The most beautiful one you have!" Gareth added patting Eddie on the back. All day long he couldn't stop being happy that he was the one Eddie had asked for help.

They had just finished their second tour which meant a few months off and then hard work on the new album. When the others heard that Eddie's next destination was now California, they joined their friend in renting a big house by the beach together, as was appropriate for rock stars, taking Chrissy with them, who got the exclusive use of the entire basement where she set up a small apartment. The Corroded Coffin boys were also clued into Chrissy's plan right after Eddie agreed to it, and they didn't mind for her to tag along.

"What size?" she asked.

"What?" asked Eddie still lost in thought.

"What size of a ring?"

"Oh! I-I don't know…" he scratched the back of his neck nervously, when he felt a metal necklace under his fingers, he got an idea - quickly unfastened it and handed it to the woman. "Like this one."

"Of course." she nodded.

Although the jewelry store wasn't very big the selection they had was overwhelming. Wanting to choose the most perfect one for you they spent more than two hours there. Fortunately, the shop assistant proved to have the patience of an angel.

Typical for a Saturday night, the beach bar was packed to the brim, and fortunately most people were at tables outside sipping colorful drinks. A few people accosted them for an autograph as they walked toward the bar, and when they finally got there, despite the fact that he was standing with his back to them, they immediately recognized the best-styled hair in the room.

"Am I dreaming or is King Steve standing right in front of me?" shouted Gareth teasingly.

"Yeah, it's me don't cream your pants" Steve turned around with a wide smile on his lips and smoothly jumped over the bar. "Good to see you, assholes." he said and greeted everyone with a hug and a pat on the back.

"Well, well, well…" said Eddie smirking. "I knew it was some weirdo who had to call the bar Upside Down," said Eddie.

"I didn't miss you actually." Harrington laughed while hugging his friend.

"I know you did. Missed ya too, big boy."

"Dude this is really yours? All yours?" asked Jeff in disbelief.

"Yup. You should see it from the beach side, I think you'll find a lot of female fans there." He winked at him insisting on the counter. Without waiting any longer Gareth, Jeff and Simon rushed to the outside of the bar.

"So, what brings you here?" asked Steve returning behind the bar.

"The tour just finished…" sighed Eddie. "I think you know what brings me here."

Steve pressed his lips together with a thin line and just nodded.

"Can I get you a drink first? You might need it." he offered. "On the house."

"What's your suggestion?" Eddie leaned against the counter with his elbows.

"I'd say the demobat will appeal to you, but I'm afraid it will be so good it might kill you."

"Charming as always, Harrington." laughed Eddie. "Interesting name by the way."

"I think you'll like the rest of it, too." he replied, slipping him a drink card.

He was right. In addition to demobat, there was demodog, and demogorgon. Although his favorites were in the "specials" category at the bottom of the card. Dusty-bun, Mad Max, amERICA, Will the Wise, Eleven, Sinclair Ranger and Mike the Paladin brought a wide smile to Eddie's face. "Damn, I miss these shitheads." he said.

"Me too. But I'll never admit it to them. Never in my life." Steve shook his head.

"Same here. One Dusty-bun, please." he said in a super-sweet voice.

"Great choice."

Steve silently prepared two same drinks and sat down opposite Eddie when a short brunette ran up to them.

"Babe! Quickly! I need my good luck kiss before we go on stage!" she said and leaned across the bar. Steve eagerly approached her and brought their lips together.

"You will be amazing, honey, as always." he said as they pulled away from each other. Eddie watched them with a goofy grin, and grunted significantly, drawing the two's attention back to himself.

"Aren't you going to introduce your old buddy?" he asked accusingly.

"Oh, I know you. You are this infamous Eddie Munson." the girl replied crossing her arms over her chest and measuring him from top to bottom. Steve snorted seeing her reaction. "I am Layla." She extended her hand toward him.

"Eddie." He replied grabbing it uncertainly. The note of hostility in her voice surprised him more than a little, but he decided not to worry too much about it for now.

"Are you ready?" asked Steve as the girl walked away toward the small stage.

"For what?" he asked puzzled. In response, his friend only nodded in the direction Eddie was about to look.

He wasn't ready. He definitely wasn't ready to see the love of his life walking onto the stage. You stood by the still-off microphone saying something to the boy who was tuning his guitar. Steve's girlfriend took her place behind the drums, and the other, tall blonde girl grabbed the bass. A second boy stood by the keyboard.

Feeling his heart speed up second by second, he didn't take his eyes off you. You were wearing slightly ripped denim shorts and a T-shirt with the logo of your favorite band with a cut-out neckline. Your hair was much longer than he remembered, tied up in two braids. You looked stunning. As soon as you started the show, his mind blew up. You sang in duet with the guitarist, having the time of your life out there. And Eddie couldn't get out of his awe and surprise that this was the same person who just a few years ago avoided being in the spotlight like a fire.

What's your thoughts about religion? Are you close to your mother? Tell me 'bout your dream vacation And all of your ex lovers Tell me now What's that look on your face? She puts her hand on my lips, begging "Please, end this conversation"

Baby said "When you're talking, I go dead" "Shut your mouth, give me your head" I know you really want to Baby said "Let me taste your silhouette" "You can talk between my legs" I know you really want to

He enjoyed it until he started listening to the conversation of two men sitting at the bar next to him.

"I would love to talk between her legs." laughed one of them. Eddie violently turned his head toward him to see the blond man devouring you with his eyes.

"Dude she could crush you with those thighs. She'd have to lose a few pounds first." the other parsed.

"You don't know what's good."

Eddie involuntarily clenched his fist, not knowing which one he should punch first, the one who drooled at the sight of his girlfriend or the one who criticized your look. Steve watched with amusement as he sent them murderous glances, but made no comment. Despite the fact that it was his friend, and he would probably follow him to hell a second time if he had to, he partly thought Eddie deserved a little suffering.

At the same time…

The music in the club was playing loud enough that Chrissy could clearly hear every word of the song. She stood in front of the building nervously rubbing her hands trying to motivate herself to finally go inside. She had been standing there for the past twenty minutes, every now and then changing her mind about whether she should be there at all. In New York she was categorically forbidden to appear in such places, her old manager would have had a heart attack if anyone had seen her around. Now, after breaking her contract and moving to a slightly smaller agency, her manager has made it clear that Chrissy's comfort is most important, showing her support in every way. As long as she acted sensibly and took care of herself, no prohibitions threatened her.

Taking a deep breath, she took two steps forward only to give up moments later and start backing away, bumping into someone along the way.

"Shit, sorry!" the girl shouted and they both turned in one another's direction.

"N-no it's me who's sorry!" she replied raising her eyes to look at her face. "Oh my god, Robin? Robin Buckley?" she asked smiling.

"Chrissy! What a meeting!" she laughed nervously.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to the party." Not expecting such a reunion, Robin definitely didn't know how to behave in Chrissy's company. She felt uncomfortable.

"Right, silly me." The blonde rolled her eyes while knocking lightly on her forehead.

"How about you? Are you waiting for someone?"

"No, I came here alone. My new manager said I should come over here, meet more people like me, but all in all I've never been alone at a party in my life, in high school you know, then at every party Eddie or Gareth or Jeff or Simon was with me, so now I'm standing like an idiot and have been trying to get in for twenty minutes. Actually I don't know why I'm telling you all this, oh my God, you probably think I'm stupid." A waterfall of words came out of her mouth uncontrollably, Robin's presence made her feel nervous, but on the other hand, a part of her wanted their paths to just go like that.

"Chrissy…" began Robin scratching the back of your neck. Despite the fact that the girl standing in front of her was considered the most beautiful woman in the states, and more than once Robin had caught herself looking at covers with her for too long, she also believed that right now an embarrassed and flushed Chrissy looked incredibly cute, which took her even more out of her mind. She knew she shouldn't think like that. Hell, she shouldn't even be talking to her. "You know, uhm, you know this is a gay club, right?"

"Yeah, I know." sending her a meaningful look.

"Oh." Buckley replied looking even more confused. Chrissy Cunningham who was sitting in the first row in church every Sunday, dating the handsomest boys in Hawkins, Eddie Munson's girlfriend, was standing here now saying that in this place she would find people like herself? Not daring to ask for an explanation, she merely nodded and an awkward silence fell between them.

"Maybe…can we go inside and have a drink together? Talk about old times and catch up on current ones?" the blonde finally asked with hope in her voice, to which the other agreed after a moment's thought.

When they went inside Chrissy looked in disbelief at all the people inside. People who were brave enough to be themselves. Disbelief quickly turned into delight when she realized that she wasn't alone and that it wasn't that there was anything wrong with her. The words she had heard in church about people like this, people like her, went through her mind. All those years she had spent in fear of herself, of how much she had sinned with her mere thoughts about Lucy, the assistant captain of the cheerleaders. All those years in which she forced herself into relationships with boys she didn't like one bit, who made her sick when their hand tried to wander under her short cheer uniform skirt.

The hell the pastor was scaring her with no longer impressed her. She had survived hell in 1986 and now she was sure she was a million times stronger than she used to be.

She grew more and more excited as she saw those people enjoying themselves on the dance floor, as two girls not far from her whispered sweet nothings in each other's ears and carelessly showed tenderness. Would she someday be able to experience this too?

Sitting down at the bar, they each ordered a drink initially sitting in silence glancing in each other's direction from time to time. With one more glance and a sip of alcohol through a colorful straw, they both burst out laughing, nodding to each other at the strangeness of the whole situation. Taking the initiative, Chrissy began to ask her about her college, then Robin listened curiously about a recent fashion show where Chrissy was the lead model. As time went on, the conversation got smoother and smoother, the girls became more and more comfortable in each other's company, joking more often and not holding back their tongues. It turned out that Robin makes great parodies of high school teachers, making Chrissy laugh to tears in the process.

A few drinks later, they were both starting to feel a gentle buzz in their heads. Not knowing why, for most of the evening, instead of focusing on what she should be doing, Chrissy couldn't take her eyes off Robin's wildly gesticulating hands and the sparkle in her eye that she noticed when she laughed at her jokes every time. Unfortunately, she also noticed the moment when the sparkle was extinguished and the smile disappeared immediately when a tall black-haired girl, looking a bit older, approached them.

"Hi!" she came up smiling. Robin left her without replying by taking a straw to her mouth and pretending to be busy drinking. The tension between them was palpable. "Can we talk outside?" Still no answer. "Robin, can you stop acting like a child?" That was it, the crack of the dam inside Buckley was nearly audible as she set her drink down on the countertop.

"Oh, sorry, since when is not wanting to talk to the girl who cheated on me childish behavior?" she replied crossing her arms over her chest.

"Come on, I just want to talk!"

"But I don't want to talk to you," she said.

"Do you want to sit here miserably alone the rest of the evening getting drunk?"

"Excuse me." grunted Chrissy. "Robin is not alone here, and it just so happens that we were having a great time before you showed up here." She stood beside her intertwining their fingers. When Robin felt Chrissy's small hand in hers she almost had a heart attack looking at everything with shock. Only when the girl squeezed her hand giving the sign to play along she shook herself and smiled.

"Oh, yes, sorry." she said quickly. "Chrissy, this is Diana, Diana, this is Chrissy." she introduced them to each other.

Diana measured her ex-girlfriend's new companion from top to bottom, feeling out of rhythm. "I didn't know you had a taste for blondes." she said raising an eyebrow. Looking at the petite, gorgeous and adorable blonde who was her complete opposite feeling jelaous.

"Oh she does! We've known each other since high school, we were already crazy about each other! Unfortunately, in a small backward town we couldn't enjoy it like we do here." Taking a step forward Chrissy's hand moved to Robin's waist, gently hugging her.

"W-what? you never said anything..." Diana turned to Robin, but when she didn't manage to say anything, Chrissy continued on, seeing how her lie brought that one out of her groove.

"Our break-up was very hard, and I'm not surprised that Robbie didn't mention anything." Robbie? Oh god why is it so hot in here and why is my heart beating so fast? Calm down Buckley, you don't like at all how she held your hand just now. For God's sake, you don't like at all how she is hugging you! Being too busy talking to herself in her mind she simply let Chrissy continue. "Fortunately, we have found each other again, and this time I have no intention of letting her go. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to go dancing with my girlfriend." Without waiting for an answer she dragged Robin to the dance floor.

"Holy shit, Cunningham, what was that?" she breathed out.

"I just wanted to help, she didn't look like she was going to leave you alone." Chrissy shrugged her shoulders. "Now don't just stand there, dance," she said.

"I'm so stressed right now, I think my body has forgotten how to move."

"Silly." She giggled and took Robin's hands placing them on her waist as she began to move her hips in rhythm and after a moment threw her arms around her neck. In Robin's head, the internal conversation with herself turned into a non-stop scream of panic. "Try to follow me. She's still looking at us."

The truth was that Robin had long forgotten about Diana. Her entire thoughts were occupied by the little blonde swaying her hips in front of her and how she shouldn't feel such overwhelming pleasure. She wanted to kill all the butterflies she felt in her stomach.

When she finally joined the dance she tried not to notice that they were getting closer and closer with every step. Somewhere near the end of the song there was no visible break between them, together with the fading melody they stopped moving however they did not let go of each other's embrace. Breathing heavily, their faces also began to move closer together. Robin's brain, which just a moment ago was trying to control the situation, shut down and let her lips taste the sweet gloss on Chrissy's mouth, who quickly responded by dipping one of her hands into Buckley's short, slightly sweaty hair. The kiss was interrupted by an uncontrollable smile that crept onto Cunningham's lips. Robin snapped out of her magic trance and with difficulty swallowed when she realized what had happened. Seeing Chrissy leaning into her side again she stepped back slightly.

"Chrissy-we shouldn't." She said stopping her by the shoulders.

"Didn't you like it?" she asked disappointedly.

"It's not like that! Liked it very much, but- something I don't understand. What about Eddie?"

"Oh." Only now she remembered everything. She was so fascinated by the evening and Robin's meeting that she completely forgot about some other important things in her life. "It's not what you think! Eddie And I- Damn." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Will you let me explain? Please. Let's go to my place and I'll tell you everything you want to know. Please." She wasn't sure where such sudden desperation had come from, but the kiss had awakened a whole new feeling in her toward Robin. She definitely didn't want it to end with just one. She wanted to be close to her, much closer than she would have expected.

"Okay, let's go."

"You were a wonderful audience, as always!" shouted the guitarist into the microphone. "Today, however, before finishing, we wanted to present you with one more song. The latest work of our wonderful and lovely y/n" he nodded in your direction, at which you sent a small kiss in his direction. Eddie did his best to ignore the sting of jealousy he felt upon seeing this little interaction and began clapping with the others.

You're wearing my old clothes, but you, you wear it better And every time I see your face, the moon should be jealous And I keep talking to the wall 'til he's a friend of mine I call you every hour just to tell you that I'm losing my mind

Now I know you're sleeping Where I'm supposed to be in Wish I could've stayed

Eddie has had many moments in his life when he felt he was running out of oxygen and suddenly the whole weight of the world was falling on his head. Now it was additionally joined by a burning sensation. He had the feeling that the small box he kept in the inside pocket of his leather jacket was burning a hole in the material, and then in his skin and heart. He knew the words perfectly well, remembered the circumstances under which he said them because he replayed the scene in his head night after night.

Only thing that keeps us apart Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning I'm coming home Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone

Tomorrow I got another plane, I'm not gonna take it Instead, I'm gonna fly straight to you, I paid double for the tickets And I don't give a shit about the contracts that I signed And they can say whatever, we'll be making love, I'm fucking you tonight

Now I know you're sleeping Where I'm supposed to be in Wish I could've stayed

Despite the fact that you sang again in duet with the guitarist for Eddie there was only your voice with which you sent strong emotions that crept into his body tightening around his heart. It was as if these emotions turned into vines and trapped him in a strong grip from which he could not escape.

Only thing that keeps us apart Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning I'm coming home Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone

So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning I'm coming home Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone

Without thinking much as soon as you finished the song and received thunderous applause he moved straight towards you. You stood with your back to him talking to Layla, who immediately noticed him and squinted her eyes watching his every forward step. Seeing your friend's strange look, you turned around to see what was causing it.

The world stopped. When your eyes met he smiled showing dimples in his cheeks, at the sight of which you were reminded of your beginnings.

"I swear I could live in them." You said laughing and kissing his entire face. "I love your dimples, I love your smile, I love you, Eddie Munson." That was the first time you confessed your love for him. When it occurred to you what you had done you opened your eyes wide and saw his smile become even wider. "That's good, because I love you too." he replied and kissed you passionately. "I have no intention of stopping, ever."

You didn't believe you would ever meet again. You didn't believe that you would ever again be close to the person for whom you were dying of longing. Now he was standing in front of you. Your Eddie. As an unconditional first reaction, a smile also appeared on your lips.

Unfortunately, you quickly came back to earth. This was not your Eddie. He hadn't been yours for a long time. He was hers. Suddenly all the people surrounding you in the bar were gone, you felt alone again, scared and hurt, surrounded by silence and emptiness. The heart that you had been trying to patch together for years had again turned into a dandelion whose parts were blown away by the wind to all parts of the world, so that nothing would be able to put them back together again. Again you felt liters of tears gathering in your eyes exactly as you did on the day when it was revealed that the new favorite couple in show business is the rebellious Eddie Munson and his complete opposite the charming and beautiful Chrissy Cunningham. The same Chrissy he assured you was just a friend and you had nothing to worry about. The same Chrissy he once had a crush on, but apparently that was in the past. The same Chrissy who, to Eddie, was supposed to be like Steve to you, the sibling you didn't have.

Without thinking twice, you turned on your heel and with a quick step walked out of the bar towards the beach. Of course, he moved right behind you when he felt a firm grip on his wrist and nails digging into it.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Layla exclaimed looking him straight in the eyes. "I won't let you close to her, not after what you did."

"You don't understand, let me go!" he said trying to break free.

"And what would your girlfriend say about it, hm? What would your little supermodel girlfriend say about it?"

"Fuck- just let me go! Let me explain it to her, you don't fucking understand!" Eddie was becoming more and more desperate. He understood why Layla was so protective of you, apparently you had to tell her everything, but neither you nor she knew the truth because you never gave him a chance to justify himself.

"Baby let them talk." Steve suddenly squeezed through the crowd. "It's been years, just let them talk."

"Really Steve? Are you fucking serious? Do you want to go through all this again? Do you want to let him destroy her like he did right after he left? Do you want her to lock herself in her room again for months and push us all away? She's barely learned to enjoy life and you want to let him destroy it again!"

"Listen-" said Eddie finally releasing his wrist. "I know what you're all thinking, and I can assure you that you're damn wrong, all of you! And I can explain it all to you but for heaven's sake let me talk to her first!"

Layla looked at Steve, who sent her a pleading look. She rolled her eyes and without a word squeezed between them walking away towards the bar clearly annoyed. Eddie turned to leave however felt Steve's hand tighten on his shoulder.

"Now you listen." he said with a serious face. "You're my friend and I believe you want to fix things and there's some strange explanation for all this. But I swear that if you break her heart again I won't even defend you when Layla wants to scratch your eyes out."

"I don't want to hurt her, I want to explain everything and make things right, you have to believe me, I love her, damn it Steve, I never stopped loving her."

Harrington just nodded his head and let him go. Quickly running outside, he looked around hoping that he would still be able to find you somewhere. After a while he spotted your silhouette sitting by the shore. He pulled off his shoes and socks and grabbed them in his hand to walk barefoot towards you and sit down next to you. Your knees were pulled up to your chin and your feet dipped into the soft sand. The murmur of the waves perfectly punctuated the sounds of the music and people in the distance. Their sound was soothing, it was easy for him to imagine that the beach, especially during sunsets was your favorite place. You fit perfectly there, and he had the fondest hope that someday he, too, would have a chance to fit back into the picture right by your side.

"What do you want Eddie?" you asked without taking your eyes off the water.

"I- I want to talk, to explain." he said quietly watching a small smile full of pain appear on your face.

"Explain what? That you were just waiting to get away from me and finally fall into the arms of your dream girl?"

"She is not- y/n I beg you, let me explain it all," he said.

"No. I don't want to hear it." you said rising, he did so as well. "I'm not going to listen to lies about how you loved me, and that's not at all what I think."

"What? you think I didn't love you?"

"You could only seem to have loved me since in your head it was Chrissy all the time anyway." The bitterness in your voice made him sick.

"Stop it. Fucking stop it." he said clenching his jaw. You could blame him for all the evils of the world, but to suggest that he never loved you was an overstatement. "Just listen to me, for the first time in three years listen to me and just start talking after that." he said.

"And what would you like to hear from me?! You heard the last song, didn't you? Would you like to hear that I wrote it thinking about you? You don't even know how many nights I wasted crying into my pillow and dreaming of those words coming out of your mouth! I agreed to this fucking break so that we could enjoy something new, but I didn't expect that I couldn't enjoy anything without you, I loved you so damn much Eddie. That's why I let you go completely and let you enjoy the life you always dreamed of. I'd a million times rather think about you fucking some random groupies on a tour bus every night than less than three months after our breakup to find out that the rising rock star is madly in love with super model Chrissy fucking Cunningham! You always said that my insecurities had no basis, that I shouldn't worry about the fact that you once had a crush on her, you kept telling me that she was just a fucking friend I definitely didn't need to worry about, and it turned out that as soon as you got rid of me from your life you immediately flew to her! Three years, it's been three fucking years and I still can't get over it! I hate that you have moved on and are living the best possible scenario. I hate that this scenario doesn't include me." You were fuming. Your glazed eyes looked at him with hatred. His sadness-filled eyes that you used to adore looking into so much. The full, pink lips that you loved so much to kiss and feel all over your body. The neck into which you cuddled your face after a hard day and kissed the wet paths on it. The pain you felt was increased the moment your attention was caught by the necklace hanging on it. Without thinking, you moved closer and pulled it out from under the collar of his shirt. He still had it. You looked at the pick and the ring in shock.

"y/n…" when his hand touched your cheek you flinched.

"You don't deserve to wear this." Anger darkened you completely, you tightened your fist around the necklace with all your strength and ripped it off.

"What the hell?" he asked shocked. He watched in disbelief as you threw the most precious thing in his entire life straight into the sand. He immediately crouched down to pick it up and put it safely in his pocket. His heart was breaking in half, feeling how he could not control his tears he quickly stood up walking straight towards you. At the last moment he managed to grab your hand.

"Don't touch me! Don't come near me because I can't stand it Eddie. If I let in one more time I will never be able to let you out again and that will kill me. You have your dream life, your dream girl, you don't need me, sometimes I think you never needed me." You said trying to break free.

"Don't say that! Don't you dare say that I never needed you! That I didn't love you! I loved you, I love you and I will love you for the rest of my fucking life!"

Before you had time to react in any way he pulled you to him and kissed you. The kiss had the taste of salty tears, but you weren't sure if they were yours or his. Despite the hatred you felt, you couldn't help how you surrendered to the moment by kissing him back. Your heart completely took over.

The moment didn't last long, though, as it was interrupted by a flash from the camera. Frightened, not knowing what was happening, you jumped away from him and looked in the direction from which the light appeared for the second time.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" shouted Eddie furiously walking towards the paparazzi. "You fuking piece of shit!" he sped up his stride. He felt like rushing at the paparazzi with his fists and then throwing the camera straight into the ocean. Unfortunately, the man turned out to be much faster and ran away. When he turned around, you were gone.

"Holy shit, you live here?" Robin looked with open mouth at the beautiful house with the ocean behind it.

"Yeah, with the boys, they gave me the whole basement so I could set up my own little apartment there, sharing a bathroom with four guys could be tough," laughed Chrissy. "Do you want to go inside?"

"Can we…Can we stay outside? I can't believe you have an ocean behind the house."

"Sure, let's go." she said and grabbed Robin's hand, leading her to the back of the house, where they sat on a wooden garden swing.

"This place is just like from a movie." commented Robin trying not to think about the fact that even though they had already sat down they were still holding hands.

"So, you wanna know the truth?" asked Chrissy uncertainly changing the subject. Robin nodded in response. "When I got the contract in New York, I thought I was winning my life, that I would finally be happy, finally all my dreams were coming true…" she sighed. "But I was quickly brought back down to earth. It turned out that my manager was homophobic, so I never dared to tell her the truth about myself."

"I'm so sorry…" Buckley squeezed her hand, to which she responded with a warm smile.

"The real nightmare began when they came up with an brilliant plan to promote me through a relationship with a sleazy fashion designer who was twenty years older. I didn't know what to do, so in a panic I lied that I had a boyfriend, and that's how I found myself in Eddie's apartment begging him for help. This was the first person I came out to and at that moment I thought I was going to die of nerves, I was wrecked and scared, and Eddie wasn't even shocked. He immediately understood and tried to calm me down. Then I proposed the whole plan with a pretend relationship. I needed someone reliable, and Eddie seemed perfect for that. We both ran away from Hawkins to start a new life in New York, the world immediately believed it, I didn't even know when we became the most recognizable couple in America and our careers just exploded."

Robin connected the dots in her head, everything the blonde said sounded crazy, but without knowing why she believed her. "I'm really glad you were able to get away from it all." she said quietly.

"If it weren't for Eddie my life would still look like a horror, I'll never be able to make it up to him…"

"He is a great friend." commented Robin, knowing that if she were in such a situation Steve would have done exactly the same thing. However, this did not stop the unpleasant feeling.

"I know what you're thinking and I feel terrible about it." Chrissy said, turning her head away. "I hate that by doing this to save myself I destroyed what Eddie had with y/n. She stopped talking to him, didn't respond to his letters, when Eddie agreed to the plan he said that the condition was that I would tell her everything, and I really wanted to do it as soon as possible! I was ready at any time to tell her the whole truth, but she didn't even give a chance to explain."

"Oh my God…" Robin bent her head back looking at the stars. She remembered what the first few months were like when Eddie and Chrissy's relationship became "offcial." You locked yourself in your room, went out only for classes and completely shut yourself off from people. Robin could hear the sounds of quiet sobs echoing around your apartment almost every night, but when she offered to be by your side at those times you just shooed her out of the room. You could have saved so much suffering if only you had given him a chance to explain. One little conversation a few years ago and things would look different now.

"You know, y/n is my best friend and in a way I understand her attitude. When we found out, we were all shocked, after all, everyone remembered that these two were madly in love with each other. Do you know about their arrangement? About the break?"

"I know, and I think you also know why we ended up in California after their tour ended," he said.

"I wish she'd let him explain it, everything would have looked completely different, and we wouldn't look so bad here now," she said.

"Maybe it could all be fixed? Maybe we could try to look good? When we moved here I broke my contract with that agency, I am now in a new one, which is not as well-known, but here they take care of me. My new manager knows everything and said that Eddie and I can end this whole pretending thing, but the label that handles Corroded Coffin isn't thrilled with the idea, so we're still in this, but Eddie is working on how to finally convince them to let us end it." she looked at her with hope in her eyes. They were so light and shiny under the gentle light of the moon and the stars. Robin's heart was melting.

She really wanted to believe that this had a chance of working, but she also knew that unless you let them tell you the truth nothing would be fully right.

The two sat in silence lost in thought as Chrissy moved closer to Robin.

"I'm sorry." she said quietly, resting her head on her shoulder.

"For how I was in high school. That I let Jason and his half-brains laugh at you. You didn't deserve it. I'd like to meet you under better conditions than the end of the world and struggling to survive."

"That's in the past, we can forget about it." she replied sincerely. Sitting now with Chrissy cuddled in her arms, she was able to forgive everything.

"I know it's crazy, but I feel like I'd like to try." Chrissy said quietly.

"Try what?" Robin pulled away sending her a surprised look.

"Us." As their eyes met, the world began to spin anew. Getting into a relationship with Chrissy was risky, they still didn't really know each other very well, but there was something, some invisible force that drew them to each other.

"How about a date when it will all be cleared out?" Buckley couldn't help herself, did that make her a bad friend? Now that she knew the truth she didn't feel as bad about it as she did at first.

"I would love to!" the excited blonde threw her arms around her neck pulling her close. When she pulled away, they were still close together. Sending nervous smiles in each other's direction once again, they began to move closer together. The gentle brushing of their lips was a hopeful sign. Before they could continue, though, they heard curses and the clink of keys. Intrigued, they went with the sound to see a furious Eddie who, with shaking hands, could not hit the door with his keys.

"Fucking bullshit!" he shouted banging his fist against it.

"Eddie? What happened?" asked Chrissy seeing the state her friend was in. Instead of at her, his eyes focused on Robin standing two steps away.

"Buckley? What are you doing here?" he asked puzzled.

"We, uh…" the girl didn't know what to say.

"I met Robin at the club and invited her here, I hope it's not a problem?" interjected Chrissy. "Give me the Keys." she said and opened the door. The three of them went inside. Eddie aggressively pulled off his shoes and threw his jacket into the closet with all his strength, but the jacket flew out of it a second later, and from the inside pocket of the jacket a small box that had been weighing him down all the way home.

"I was ready to fall to my fucking knees the moment I saw her." he said seeing the girls look at it in shock. After a moment, Robin picked it up and opened, showing the ring. "She thinks I never loved her. She thinks she has meant nothing to me all this time." his voice began to crack. "She hates me and didn't even give me a chance to explain it all. On top of that, that fucking paparazzi, I swear I'll kill the shithead as soon as I see him!" he walked toward the couch and sat down heavily on it, pulling a broken necklace from his pocket and placing it on the glass coffee table.

Chrissy looked at him with horrified eyes, she knew like no one else that Eddie cared about it like it was the most precious thing in whole world.

She approached slowly and knelt by the table taking it in her hands. Looking at her friend whose cheeks were streaming with tears, she couldn't help the guilt that had awakened in her. It was her fault, it was because of her that Eddie was losing the love of his life. "She said I didn't deserve to wear it." he said quietly. "She ripped it right off my neck." His voice was small, weak and helpless. "I love her so much, I never stopped Robin, you have to believe me." it was painful for him to have to keep assuring others of his love for you at every step, because no one wanted to believe him.

"I believe you." she said, sitting down next to him. "I know everything, Chrissy told me everything."

"She did?"

"Yeah, and now that I know everything, I want to help you. I'll try to convince y/n to give you a chance to explain everything."

"Thank you." he said hugging her tightly to himself.

"But now I should go, I don't want y/n to be alone today, I think you understand?"

"Of course, thank you Rob." he replied while wiping away tears.

"I'll call you a cab." offered Chrissy.

While they waited for the cab the girls exchanged phone numbers, Robin leaving promised to call as soon as she returns to the apartment. She also received a kiss on the cheek from Chrissy as a goodbye, which revived the butterflies in her stomach.

When she entered the apartment she noticed that the door to your room was ajar, peeking in there she noticed that you were asleep. Not wanting to wake you up, she just called the number she got earlier, toold them that she didn't talk to you because you had fallen asleep and went to bed herself as well, wondering how to clean up the mess you all found yourselves in.

taglist: @i-me-mine @phantypurple @tlclick73 @greatpizzascissorstaco @alanamarie @hiscrimsonangel

[bluean3gl]

The Garcia Family

Word count: 1k

Warnings: not proofread, sloppy writing, mature language, confusing

Writer notes: this may or may not be another “I Became the Villainess” trope ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Extra: female POV, fantasy, mystery,

“Miss Garcia! Miss-” The shaking stopped once your eyes opened. Sunlight filled your big room, and a worker you met a month ago leaned above you. She had a worried look on her face. “Gosh, you scared me. I thought someone might’ve poisoned you or something.” The women left your sight, making you sit up.

“Miss. Yun,” she looks directly at your messy morning hair, “Please just call me Lois. All this is still new. And despite Sir Garcia believing that I am his daughter, I feel bad being called someone’s name I’ve never identified as.” Your fingers brush through your hair, coming across many knots.

The bluette stares at you pulling your hair. Before you know it, a brush comes in contact with it, replacing your fingers. “Whatever you wish, Miss Lois.” She brushes your hair as you continue to sit in your bed. “Ah, by the way, Mr. Garcia has some plans for today.”

You hum, letting her know to continue. With that, she starts to list upcoming events. You zoned out once the first two were stated, and instead started to think about how the fuck you got here.

It was only a few weeks when you woke up in someone else's body in a whole other world, way different than yours. Not even a full day passed, before more trouble struck your way. Suddenly, you were dragged out of your uncle’s cafe shop under a guy’s command. When his guards brought you to his office, he then told you that you were his lost daughter! Main character energy, ain’t it? Well it isn’t.

This world is actually a story. A story that you, not the character you’re in, wrote. Everything that is happening is something you wrote during your middle school days. You don’t remember much of your past life, but you remember at least two hours before you had fallen asleep and woken up in this world.

It was night time, and you were laying on your couch in the apartment you owned. You were on your phone looking at all the documents of different stories you’ve written. Most had a few people shared in, you being the owner. The documents had many comments on your stories that could better improve it. With this knowledge only, you’ve guessed you were a writer in your past life.

Before going to sleep, you were reading one of your oldest stories. This one. You fell asleep after remembering the ending of your story, and now you’re here. Not playing as the main character, but the villain. Lois Khang, or now claimed to be Scarlett Garcia, the missing daughter of Sir Garcia.

You gripped your bedsheets. Why? Why am I the villain!? Your nose scrunched up. You’ve been asking yourself this question everyday. Lois Khang is the main villain of this story. The main character is the victim of all of Lois’s crimes.

Here’s a small summary of the story: After hearing the founding daughter of Sir Garcia, the main character, who’s a daughter of a fallen high family, is excited. The information of her childhood friend coming back, makes her sneak into a ball to which Scarlett (Lois) will be participating for her debut.

When she finds ‘Scarlett’ and talks to her privately, she doesn’t talk to the humble and joyful Scarlett she once knew. No, she is revealed with the greedy Lois pretending to be Scarlett.

With that, the story progresses where the main character tries to find the truth about the missing daughter, and exposes Lois of her manipulation towards Mr. Garcia. She finds many allies and, may you state shyly, love interests. One, being Scarlett’s older brother, Felix Garcia.

“What do you think?” Miss. Yun’s voice cuts your recalling. She had braided your black hair and was leading you towards the bathroom.

You blinked a few times, shaking your head lightly. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” You apologize quickly.

The older woman leaves your side once you enter the bathroom. “It’s okay. I’ll just tell you again once you’re all ready. Right now, though, Mr. Garcia would like to have breakfast with you, if you don’t mind.” She interlocks her hands in front of her.

For some odd reason, her neutral facial expression calms you down. When you first entered this world and was quickly ambushed by bodyguards, she was the only one with a calm expression. She didn’t give you gasps or weird looks. Maybe that’s why Lois made Miss. Yun, her advisor and right hand man. “Okay, tell him I’ll be there in thirty.”

She nods, letting some of her baby hairs frame her face. “When you come out, a bodyguard will lead you to the dining room.” The bluette pulls a faint smile before placing her hand on the sensor, casting a cover over the doorway.

Right, you forgot to add that this world doesn’t have a set year. It’s filled with techy stuff. Of course, this wouldn’t be a middle school student’s story if this world didn’t have some sort of magic. Just more things to add into the confusing setting.

You start to undress yourself. Right next to the large mirror, was an outfit hanging from mid-air. It seems that Miss. Yun’s taste is quite simple. You smile at the outfit. It was a simple light gray dress that ended mid calf. It was off the shoulders with some ruffles on top, the sleeves went past your fingers, and it had a fake corset. A few accessories hung next to it, as a hint for you to choose with your opinion.

With time still moving, you quickly got ready. You didn’t do much to your face. Miss. Yun had secretly done your makeup when you zoned out. The only thing you did some lip gloss on. You didn’t give much thought to the accessories, and picked a pair of earrings and some bracelets.

As you click the bracelets around your wrist, you stop. Your eyes scanned the tattoo on your skin. The tattoo was a rectangle outline with the word ‘completion’ under it and a percentage on the end of it. Mr. Garcia noticed it the moment you entered his office, and asked about it. You gave him a lazy excuse about getting a matching tattoo with one of your outsider friends. In contrast to you, he took it without following up on it. This wasn’t actually a tattoo, and that’s all you knew. Yesterday it was 0%, but today it was 2% and the box has become more filled.

Your fingers grazed the ink. Is it story completion? If so, then that means it’s just counting my days till I die. Your mood degrades at the thought.

In the main character’s favor, the fate of Lois Khang is met with a gun to her head by one of many other love interests the main character has. This love interest, though, had caught the heart of Lois Khang. Her death was sentenced after she tried to poison Mr. Garcia and pin the blame on the main character. Obviously it fails because Lois is not only caught by a recording animal, but a piece of her black hair is found laying on Garcia’s corpse.

You drop your arm to your side, looking up at the body mirror. What looked back to you wasn’t the real you. Though you only remember two hours of your past life, seeing someone else look back at you seemed weird. Damn, why does she have to look so…beautiful? Your eyebrows furrow as you touch your cheek. It was cold to the touch. Could this be a dream? If not, then maybe the only way I can return home is… Your eyes look back at your right arm.

A knock stops you from doing anything else. “Miss Lois, twenty minutes have passed. Do you need any help? I can call Miss. Yun if needed.” A male voice catches you off guard.

“No, I’m good.” You place your palm on the sensor on the wall. The image of a door drifts away in pixels, revealing an older male in a suit. “I just got done.” You move a piece of hair behind your ears.

He bows slightly, moving his arm to signal you to walk past him. “Then let’s join the Garcia family.”

Extra writer notes: do you pronounce ‘Lois’ as loo-is or loo-ee-ss (・∀・)？

[rosyandraw]

I'm doing a rereading because a long time ago I promised you I would come back with all of my thoughts but then life got in the middle and I lost my phone notes but whatever 🌷✨🎀 I'm back! 🎀✨🌷

Hihi lovely girl!! it's me your Berry anon 🫐🫐 how you doing?? I read you quit your job and that you wrote a whole book? WOW I'm so happy for you.. hope everything is wonderful.

Now.. I came here because before my re reading of nmfy I decided to reread Deliver which is the first fanfic I read from you (I loved it 💛💛 I honestly come back to it every Christmas)

But well my point was that I love your writing and I especially love your Damens. I think no one does modern aus Damen like you do 💖💖 he really feels like if Capri was a romcom / contemporary novel then that how they would be but even more for Damen... soooo i was wondering which one between deliver and nmfy do you think its closer to canon possiblities? and which one did you enjoy writing the most? Haha 👀👀👀

Well that's all for now this time I will come back with an even longer ask of me talking about nmfy last chapter 👀😍 this time I'm for real 😬

Kisses, kisses your now and forever Berry anon 🫐🍒🫐

(can you believe it's been so long that I finally have an actual berry emoji?🫠)

Ps: if you don't feel like answering my question just forget about it haha I just got curious 🧐😘

YAAAYYY!!!!! Omfg I was wondering where you had gone, I hope everything is okay and that you’re living your best life!!

As always you are way too nice and I love you for that haha, what have you been doing with yourself?

OMG YES I WROTE A BOOK! Do you Beta read? I can send it to you after this last draft is done if you would be into dark queer fantasy that’s a little bit ACOTAR x Captive Prince x Kingdom of the Wicked and fancied giving me some feedback haha

Omg you’re too sweet, you don’t have to do that haha! Oooo great question

I think in Deliver there is a recklessness to Damen that Damen could never allow himself in canon due to his position when in Akielos, but which he rolls with pretty easily when he’s “just a slave” in Vere so I leant into that more a bit more. The stakes are lower so his drive isn’t the same and that obviously effects his view of himself and the world.

The NMFY Damen does have a lot of responsibilities so he has stricter rules to live by. He’s still done some bad stuff but he is dedicated all the same. The Auguste stuff has made Damen less blind to the world around him than he is in Canon though. I still think NMFY Damen is probably closer to Canon. For example I can, and have, imagined NMFY Damen punching Laurent in the face like he did at Ravenel lmao. But Deliver Damen would never. But idk, what do you think?

It means a lot to me that you love the way I write contemporary Damen. I think mostly because he’s reduced almost every single time to just Laurent’s Love Interest. Or he’s made into a himbo or a misogynistic prick and I’m just… I fucking hate the reduction of Damen’s character lmao so I’ll always strive to write him as a person (and a crazy nuanced one at that, the way we see in Canon). So thank you, that means a lot to me.

So lovely to hear from you my dear, you always make my day brighter  💕 💕 💕 💕

[cozza-frenzy]

For some reason tumblr isn't letting us reply to this ask "properly", so fuck it, text post time. Hope you see this, anon. Oh boy. Well, we often end up telling this story because a lot of systems tell us they've never seen anything like it before, but if you guys do have something similar you have my sympathy. Dealing with it wasn't easy, it wasn't fun, and we were very lucky that someone (Vimes) showed up to stop it from causing further harm. This story may be disturbing; it also talks about events in our inner world. For any non-systems reading this, the Inner World is a visual reference tool that out system gives us in order to better understand the mood and mental state of parts. It gives us unique appearances "in our head", and gives us ways to work through our trauma by creating memories of places and each other within it. This isn't a hallucination or a delusion; it's our subconscious adapting to dissociative parts that act like separate people, and sometimes it can do just as much harm as good. (Continued under the cut)

So here's the thing - when you have DID/OSDD (at this point we're not sure which one) and your brain has been suppressing almost everything about this for a long time, often it has a lot of catching up to do. Alters can start to emerge very quickly, either coming out of dormancy or spontaneously forming from specific types of trauma. What happened in our case, though, was every single trauma "category" that hadn't formed an alter yet got stuck together. And this didn't form one alter with a lot of trauma; instead it formed a kind of huge "pseudo-alter", one that manifested not with an in-system body, but as an entire place within our inner world. That was The Red Forest. Initially, we thought it was just another place. A forest full of birch trees with bright red leaves, with a thick carpet of red leaves covering the floor - it was completely silent, and even the sounds of footsteps and voices sounded odd, like something was stopping the sound from traveling. Needless to say, it gave us all the creeps. But then we saw someone new come out of the Red Forest - and we figured okay, sure, I guess this is how our brain handles this now. Alters have to come from somewhere, so this is where alters come from. I even went in there once myself, riding on the back of Rakugaki (now a part of Anarchy) because I could sense there was someone in there who was lost, and that was how we found Holiday. Oh boy, was that a mistake. Turned out The Red Forest didn't just feel hostile; it was hostile, in the sense that a wild animal whose territory you just invaded is hostile. All that unresolved trauma hadn't formed something intelligent; it'd formed a huge pile of hurt, anger, fear and pain, that was now aware of where the pieces that kept breaking off it kept going. Within a few days we started to hear horrible noises in the front, like tearing metal or animals being slaughtered, and then the entire thing - the entire Red Forest in itself - attempted to front. It over-wrote our fronting room and dropped all of us right in the middle of it, only withdrawing when it realized it couldn't actually control the body in the state it was in. But nonetheless it took out its rage on Chaos; unlucky enough to get trapped inside of it, it ended up being injured in the Inner World, something that can't normally happen unless someone really wants someone else to be hurt. The first thing it said upon finally getting out - after me and Rakugaki went in there again and spent three real-world hours trying to find it - was "don't go in there, it hates us". We're only lucky that the very next alter I spotted emerging from the forest - from a safe distance, on our in-system "cameras" - was Vimes. He's a specific type of gatekeeper we call a Jailer, who can lock down areas of the Inner World, and he was able to keep the Red Forest contained where it was. He was able stop it from fronting (though it certainly didn't stop trying) and was able to go in there with his lantern - back then, our Inner World's only representation of hope - and lead other alters to join the rest of us. We put a contingency plan ("Operation Kaiju") in place in case it ever escaped containment. But even at its worst we only ever enacted the first half of that; I realized it could be reasoned with, and attempted basic communication through Vimes' barrier. It only ever said one thing with words, and it was "thank you". After the emergence of Jenova, The Red Forest "died" on July 31st 2023, and no longer exists in our system. Our remaining alters found their way to us of their own accord. Chaos still has a special bond with Vimes, and has made him part of its ever-growing adopted family. And we've marked the date on our calendar as our system's Collective Birthday, because it marked the beginning of the end of our system discovery. Whatever you have in your system, anon, I hope our story inspires yours to handle it however you can. Trust in each other, put your unique abilities and skills to good use, and work together. It's the only way to move forward. - Terry, Martin & Leaf

[gojonanami]

Hi Sab!

I remember you mentioning that you were currently writing four(?) books?

What sort of fiction do you usually write outside of jjk?

(If you'd rather not share plot points/etc. in case you end up publishing them in the future, I understand!!)

this is so sweet of you to ask! i don't mind sharing some information about what i'm writing -- i have like three novels i'm working on currently and then one i wrote in high school that i finished but needs...heavy rewrites lmao

romantic fantasy / enemies to lovers (sort of) / arranged marriage / sci-fi/fantasy

this is a newer project - based on a concept for a fic au series i had that i thought would be better as a novel.

a princess married to a prince - the thing of fairy tales, neither having ever even had laid eyes on each other until the wedding day, and both married to the other for the advantage of their kingdoms on their respective planets. except, the prince wasn't a prince -- not really. adopted by the queen, he was the second son, in everything -- except his queen's eyes. and the princess wasn't a princess - she was a killer in disguise, perfectly poised with the empress keeping her in check with a threat to the only person she ever cared about.

but when people start dying that she didn't kill and she starts falling for the prince that she was supposed to hate, how will she navigate her way through on an unfamiliar planet where she doesn't know who to trust?

fantasy / adventure / found family / multiple povs

this is my big project - i've rewritten this book three times - i started writing it...oh my god, 12 years ago (fuck). i'm on the third draft, and its...90K - and i still have a good third of the book left lmao.

rebirth -- a burgeoning leader that falls from grace, a mage with almost everything to hide about her past, and a young girl trying to find her place after her home was burned away to ash.

this leader nearly lost himself in the war ten years before - when he was far too young to be fighting in it, and now with the enemy rising again, right as he's about to be handed the leadership of his guild, he loses something much greater - himself.

the mage has shed her identity far too many times to the point where she nearly has forgotten the name given by her parents. but after her home is attacked, she's forced to confront she ran away from -- after she had killed the man she was being forced to wed.

this young girl had grown up away from the world, on a town on the outskirts of nowhere - her father leaving everything behind after he had lost her mother and his wife. but that world comes pounding again at her doorstep, and doesn't stop, until it's taken every part of her world - including one of the people she held the dearest. and now she's forced to find her place in a home she never knew - surrounded by people who don't trust her.

revenge story / assassin / based on 15th century france / england / joan of arc inspired

this is just a concept i had come up with when researching joan of arc in high school for a project. it was essentially what if joan of arc wasn't believed and her home was taken from her -- what lengths would she go get revenge? and then kind of evolved from there. i won't give a whole summary because i don't really have a ton about this book - i wrote like 12 pages of it, plotted a bit, and then never got back to it lol. but i do wanna write it at some point

chosen one / with a twist / middle grade fantasy

this one i won't give a summary for because it's a mess lol. i wrote this book in high school with no plan - i just wrote it - and therefore its a mess. i was really good at bullshitting. but essentially, its about a girl who loses her mom at a young age, her father is emotionally distant, and then disappears -- she's attacked, and realizes that her parents are from a world of magic that exists parallel to the real one. and she has to travel there to find out what happened to her father.

[howdyfriend]

Celeste LORE?? PREHAPS?? ANYA ?? A N DY ?? FUVKINB- EXPLODES

i am free from the road once more so i will answer ur ask now :)

Im going to talk about Anya and Celeste’s world itself first though so i can get into more character specific stuff.

Since they are super cool supervillains, they gotta have powers right? In this world, magic mostly genetic. There are alternative magics, think like potions and shit, but its weaker and more finicky. The most worthwhile magic is passed down from parent to child. It works like regular genetics, some powers are more dominant than others, generations can be skipped, etc. Anya got her powers from some distant aunt, and most of her close family does not have magic, save her cousin. Celeste’s family have had very strong, dominant magic, so she and her siblings all have their fathers magic. Magic is influenced by where and how your ancestors lived, Anya’s ancestors lived near water, so she has water magic. Celeste’s ancestors were the ones who would keep night watch, and as such has darkness and shadowy related powers. Not everyone has powers, and over time the number and diversity of people who can use magic has gone down.

Anyways Character Time Yay

Celeste grew up super rich. Like uber mega crazy rich. Not Jeff bezos kinda rich but really fucking rich. Eldest of four children, she grew up expected to bear the family name, business, and riches when her father dies. As such, a lot of pressure was put on to her. Everything was chosen for her. Every extracurricular, every class, even her outfits were planned ahead. She was allowed no individuality. She was the heir, designed to be a carbon copy of her father.

You could imagine how terrified she was when she realized she was trans.

She knew she couldn’t come out. While she didn’t like how she lived, it was better than the streets. So, for years, she sat on this revelation, growing more and more uncomfortable and angry at everything. She would reach out for support and be dismissed, restrictions for her behaviour were getting tighter, and the dysphoria was becoming overwhelming. That is until she saw the perfect chance to end all of this.

Her father had just wrote his will. One day, she went into his office to ask a question and saw it lying out on his desk. He had named her both sole heir and power of attorney to his estate, and knew that this was her chance to get out of all of this. Despite her increasing restrictions on her movement, she was able to secure enough cash from around the house to hire a hitman. No paper trail was left behind. Everyone in that house died that day, and she inherited huge money.

Anya grew up in a standard, suburban home. White picket fences, oak trees with tire swings, garages with suvs and minivans. Her childhood was ordinary at best. Despite a lack of expertise in the area, her parents managed her magic well and her abilities developed nicely. It wasn’t until middle school until things went wrong. She had been pestered by a small pack of bullies for a while, but had recently started escalating their behaviour. So she fought back. Small things at first, directing tap water back at their faces, causing clouds to pour rain down onto them, innocuous things like that. Over the course of middle school and high school she was starting to get fed up with the increasingly agressive attacks from her bullies, when it all came to a head on the night of her graduation when they tried to drop the stage lights onto her. She was a theatre kid though, and was able to get out of the way fast enough to not get crushed. In a fit of rage for ruining her moment in the spotlight (which they just tried to kill her with) she lost control over her powers, sucking every ounce of water out of their bodies. Feeling the adrenaline rush, she let herself go completely, savouring the power she felt. Eventually though, she stopped, and realizing the damage she caused, ran away.

She wasnt going to let up on that feeling of power though. Not a chance. After honing her newfound power on the local wildlife, she packed her bags and started life anew in a different country, becoming a hit man. One night she was approached by a young man seeking to inherit his fathers wealth. He knew he would be caught if he was the killer, so saught out her instead. He asked to frame it as a home invasion, as not only would he pay her in cash but in whatever valueables she wanted from his home. She took the deal, and got to work. After everything was said and done, they parted ways, Anya using her extra wealth to fund a far more lavish lifestyle. This lifestyle lead her to a house party, where she would meet an awfully familiar face.

Anyways they get together and decide “fuck it lets just cause problems on purpose” and become supervillains the end.

and for andy i have something planned for him ;) its fun dont worry :)

[leowritesshit]

OK so I know this isn't my usual content but I want to show Y'all the angst I wrote for my dnd Character after our last session (Which was yesterday)

The Funny Thing About Grief

TW/// MCD - Mentions (Breif) of Torture Word Count: 625

Tempest sat in the Tavern in Durgami. They only got there a few hours ago, still soaked from the shark attack. The new person who joined their party, Achilles Black, gave them a dry shirt. But they were still soaked. It pissed them off slightly but at least they had ale. The tavern doors opened and Tempest turned, seeing their party, they were about to greet them but they noticed something. The air turned heavy, and solemn. They looked over the party, mentally counting them. Someone was missing. They continued counting, over and over again. They got up hurriedly. Maybe it was the alcohol in their system, maybe they were counting wrong. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck FUCK. Min was gone. Everything was a blur in that moment. They asked where he was. No one answered, and that when they knew. That’s when they knew he was dead. They stood frozen. Not knowing how to feel. Their emotional side sobbed, threatening to open the waterworks and cause them to cry right there and then, threatening to have them collapse on the floor and sob. But their logical side said that this was expected. Everyone died. Plus why get so worked up. They’ll find another Barbarian. They stood there frozen for who knows how long. Because Tempest sure as hell didn’t. Soon they walked out. Not acknowledging the rest of the group, not even saying a word, they just walked out. They needed air.

They walked on the dock. Breathing in the ocean air. They always hated the ocean. Didn't like the smell. But they assumed it was calming enough for now. They didnt know how to react. They felt almost… Numb to it. It was odd. It wasn't like what they did to… No. That was 10 years ago. No point in thinking about it. They cried a lot that day. It hurt to cry that day. Soon their tear ducts dried up and they just sobbed. Soon their voice hurt and they just sat there. Sat through everything that happened. Sat through the whipping. Sat through the burning sensation in their arm. Ignored the glares. Ignored all of it until they were out of Chlys. Until they were out of Verna. Then… they broke down. In the middle of a forest. They didn't know where they were. They were exiled from their home for 5 years. Banned from seeing their mentor, the only person they trusted, for 5. Fucking. Years. It hurt. It hurt so much. That's when they realized that they were in their head, they came back to the present. They were in a forest. Replicating that day they broke. They leaned against a tree. That's when they sobbed. That's when they screamed. That's when they got angry at the world and the gods. Everything hurt. They almost pulled out their hair. They pulled out a few strands of beautiful iridescent white hair. So thin and delicate. Why were the gods cruel, that’s what they thought naïvely. They knew why. Because the gods represented how people act. People took people away… Forever. Death was cruel. But isn't everything like that? Roses were oh so beautiful, but they prick you when you try to pick them. Love is beautiful, but it can rip you apart from the inside. Tempest hated it. They hated it all. So they just cried. They mourned their lost friend. They mourned everything that they lost up to this point. And… For the first time in a while… they felt okay. After their tears dried, for the first time in 10 years… they felt free. Free of the pain that has been welling up in them. Maybe crying really does help. Maybe the party is a good thing for Tempest.

[weministertomonsters]

( Here is something I wrote for a story I'll probably never finish.)

Shadow Creature - Part One

Your knock has the door swinging open almost immediately and a woman peeks out as you with wide green eyes, like she's seen a ghost. She's wearing a colorful dress with lots of rope necklaces with charm pendants. Her red hair is tied up in a fountain of curls.

"Are you Shakra Mauricette?"

  "Yeah, who's asking?" She says, glancing over your shoulder before looking you in the eye.

  "Can you help me?" You ask.

  She blinks her eyelashes which are slightly clumped with mascara. Her eyes remain wide, like she's seeing something scary just behind you.

  "That all depends on what you want help with and what you're willing to pay for it."

  She turns and walks inside, gesturing for you to follow. You do, pushing the half piece of gaudy curtain away from the door as you step in.

  "Well, I brought money."

  She laughs slightly, waving your words off. "Hun, I wasn't talking about that! I'll even do a consultation for you for free."

  "Then what do you mean?"

  You follow her into a tiny kitchen with one cracked window. A small table with two chairs is set up in the corner, candles and a bowl of what looks like witchcraft paraphernalia are clustered in the middle of the table. You gingerly take a seat in the squeaky chair.

  "My roommate Margaret told me to come here, that you might be able to help."

  Her face sours. "Oh, her. Troublesome woman. The time she came for a consultation, she was nearly possessed. Too much dark energy, that one. I offered to give her cleansing but she refused."

  The shaman bustles around, pouring fragrant pink tea into two teacups and adding a cube of sugar to each.

 

  "Sounds like Margaret. She doesn't like to be told that something is wrong with her," you agree.

  "But you didn't come here for her. Tell me, what ails you?" She comes to the table, setting your tea down and unearthing crumbly homemade cookies from a jar.

  "I think I'm possessed," you say.

  "Yup," she replies. " I'm listening."

  "I've been seeing things through the corners of my eyes, moving shadows. Things are being misplaced all over my apartment. There's a heaviness all around my house. I can nearly feel it," you say, cupping your mug of tea in your hands as a shiver runs through you.

  "Yup."

  "And I have nightmares again. I haven't had those since I was a kid. Now most nights I wake up at least once in a cold sweat. I swear, it's like I'm being squashed in my sleep. One time when I woke up, I thought I had a cat sleeping on my chest and that's why I couldn't breathe, but I don't even have a fucking cat!"

  "Yeah," she nibbles on her cookie.

  You purse your lips together. "Are you just going to agree with everything I say?"

  "Well, it's stuff I've heard over and over, just in different ways. I can tell you with certainty that you are possessed by a demon. Not sure what type."

  "There are types?" You stare in horror.

  "Sure! It takes a different sort of devil to get a respectable gentleman who has everything going for him to turn his hand on his wife. Takes another to get a couple to kidnap kids for ransom and yet another to get a lonely woman to suffer nightmares that are beginning to ruin her life."

  "I'm not lonely."

  "Are you not?" She leans closer, her wide eyes peering right into your soul. "Sure."

  "I just want it gone. Then I'll be fine."

  "I'll try my best. Come on then, let's go to my ninja room. That's where I do seances and exorcisms. Things can get wild and I lost so much furniture before I got the hint."

  You hesitantly follow her into what might have once been a master bedroom, stripped of furniture and carpeting.

  "Sit down right in the middle, I got to draw a pentagram to contain the demon if it even comes out," she says. "Let's use pink chalk, eh? I like pink."

  You watch her stoop around you, scrawling the symbol around you as you sit cross-legged.

  "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" You ask as she sprinkles what smells like dried rose petals at the corners.

  "I've been in the business for about thirty years now! Sure, I know just how to confuse those fuckers. A little present for them, flowers and maybe a little milk and animal fat or something like a little sacrifice, ya know?"

  "Um," you say.

  "Trying to aggressively pray 'em out like they do in churches won't get you far. Demons don't like being ordered around. You gotta work 'em out slowly with some sweet words and slow movements. They're skittish and suspicious creatures who found a cozy home and you're trying to take it from them," she concludes. "Makes sense?"

  "I guess," you say doubtfully.

  You have questions but don't want to distract her from her work and trigger a monologue. So you sit, wincing slightly at the hard floorboards.

  "Alrighty then." Shakra drains the last of her tea and puts on a pair of half-moon glasses. "Let's see then."

  She reads some Latin words from a tiny book, her voice ebbing in volume.

  "Tell me when you feel something," she instructs, and continues reading.

  You feel it alright, as something akin to hands grasping your shoulders. A hard shove, and you're sprawling over the edge of the chalk symbol.

  "Stay in the pentagram!" Shakra says, sputtering through her lines.

  "Right, sorry!" You straighten up immediately, but it looks like the damage is already done.

  "Oh boy!" Shakra exclaims, scurrying across the room for a box of matches. "Sure, it’s a strong one! What have you been dabbling in?"

 

  "Nothing! I haven't even tried Ouija boards!" You sputter.

  "Then how'd you pick up such a strong demon?" She demands, lighting the edge of a swatch of herbs and blowing on it gently.

  "I have no idea. Is there anything you can do?" You ask. "It's ruining my life."

  "I don't know, hun." She walks around you in a second, waving the faintly smoking herbs around you. "You yourself are filled with confusing energy. It's not dark though. It's like..."

  She pauses. "Grey. Not white or black. It's like you've got a mix in there. Anything particularly heavy in your life?"

  "I... I don't really think so," you stammer.

  She puts the herbs down and observes you, her eyebrows scrunched. "Let me try something."

  She leaves the room for a moment and comes back with an envelope opener, brandishing it like a knife.

  "What are you doing?" You blink.

  She lunges forward and you throw yourself to the side, confused but reacting instinctively.

  "Hey!" You cry, and turn to see Shakra looks worse for wear than you.

  She's across the room, rubbing the back of her head.

  "I should retire from this shit," she grumbles. "My old bones can't handle this kind of abuse."

  "What happened? What did you do?"

  "I had a theory," Shakra says. "Not all demons are necessarily out for death and destruction. They like deals that benefit too, ya see. And all the planes of this realm know that they'll take a bit more than their share..."

  "I don't understand." You get up, determining that it's safe to do so, and cross the room to help the shaman up.

  "Someone might've made a deal with the devil to keep you safe," she says. "It worked well while you were a kid, but payment is long due and the demon is taking it now."

  "You're saying someone possessed me with a demon to protect me?" You frown.

  "Well technically they summoned a demon into you, but yeah. Your parents, probably."

 

  "But my parents were Catholic! They hated demons and those sorts of things."

  "Maybe. Maybe not! I know for a fact that lots of people pretend to be something else other than what they are. Imagine that, the most religious family on the block, and it turns out they were devil worshipers," Shakra cackles. "You know this city of ours. Washed as clean as a bone free of meat. But in there, the maggots squirm."

  You shiver. "I know," you say absentmindedly. "I felt it when I first came here. So, what now?"

  "There isn't much I can do. A demon squatting in a house is one thing. But when the demon protects that house like a dog stands over a bone, then it's a different thing."

  "But... I just go home and try to act like everything is normal?"

  "Sure. It's best to leave you with your friend for now. It's there for a reason, and you're lucky that the reason isn't harming you as much as it can harm others. Ever seen a man driven mad by a demon?"

  "And I wouldn't want to," you shudder.

  "If it gets worse, you're welcome back and I'll see what I can do to help. But right now, you're safer with the demon than without. It wasn't summoned for no reason, I reckon."

  She ushers you to the door, cheerfully refusing the money you try to give her. Her words stay with you for a long time.

  The demon wasn't summoned for no reason... But you've been fine until now. Not awesome, but not terrible either.

[goddess-evelle]

Hey bb could u write a sapnap and dream x reader polyamorous smut were they get into a fight and they make y/n cry and they try to make it up to her by doing nice things or sm but she is still hurt about it so ( with CONSENT) they decide to please her until she is sobbing and begging them to stop ( there is n established safe word if she really wanted them to stop she'd say the safe word) but they don't stop and praise and coaxe her through many orgasms and then they take care of her as she's all sensitive and twitchy under there touch

Better without me

A/n: I went off on this, so I will make a second part finishing it.

Warnings: Mention of neglect towards the reader, angst, very much hurtful thoughts. Smut in the next part. SFW. Slightly suggestive or provocative acts, also slight girl on girl action;)

Dream x Sapnap x fem reader

Words: 2,1??- I don't even know why I wrote so much.

As the dumb bitch that I am I forgot I made two different parts of this one of them that I discarded, so yeah that was a mess, but I fixed it.

Part 1 (You are here now)

Part 2

“I understand, but I just want to spend time with my boyfriends” Your voices cracks as you try to make light into the situation.

“No Y/n, you do not fucking understand. You don’t know what is like to spend hours on hours playing. Just to finally finish and have to spend ten more hours editing. You don’t understand how it is! You should be more considerate when you fucking ask us to ‘spend time with you’ ” Dream’s words come flying out as the three of you had been arguing for what felt like hours. Your reply got stuck in your throat as Sapnap started talking.

“Exactly like you are always bitching about wanting to be with us, but you never do shit for us. You know that we are both busy working. You are so fucking annoying.” Sapnap’s words eco through your mind. Were you really that annoying? Maybe you were just being too clingy towards the boys. You just wanted to spend time with them. Sapnap and Dream were in a relationship while the three of you were roommates, and a part of you always felt as if you had missed on a big part of the relationship, so you tried to spend time with them to make up for the lost time. Now, with Sapnap saying that you are annoying you can only feel as if you intrude into their relationship. Your mind flooded with thoughts of them just being in a relationship with you just because you lived with them; maybe they didn’t even love you. Your own mind created scenarios in your head as your insecurities took over you. They obviously didn’t love you or they would spend time with you. If they loved you they would make time for you. If they loved you they would’ve been more attentive of you. If they loved you they would pay attention to you. These thoughts kept your mind busy, and finally everything clicked. You finally understood why you felt so out of place all the time.

“You are not even listening to us!” Dreams shakes a hand in front of you face trying to gain your attention again, and you wonder just for how long had you been thinking.

“Honestly, y/n we can spend time together later . We have to film manhunt. Go do something or I don’t fucking know.” Sapnap says, but you are not listening to what he is saying. They leave and you are left in the bedroom alone. You look around the room for your phone as you look at the hour, and put 10 minutes on the timer. You wait patiently as the 10 minutes pass by as you lay on the bed looking at the ceiling. You close your eyes for what feels like a second before you hear the alarm go off. You grabbed your phone stopping the alarm, and texting your best friend to get ready; you both were going out. You got dressed with a simple dress quickly. You did your hair, and makeup as you made your way towards the front door. You just needed to leave; you had been suffocating the boys with your presence for too long. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you made your way towards the front door only to be stopped by a furry friend. You smiled sadly looking at the cat laying on front of you.

“Oh, sweet thing don’t worry. I will see you in a bit.” You say as you scratch Patches head. The cat looks up at you as if she understands. You give her a little kiss on the nose before grabbing your keys of the house. You make your way outside the door only to see your neighbor right next to where your car is.

“Hi, good afternoon.” You say politely.

“Hi, I didn’t know you guys were going out.” He says looking at you suspiciously.

“Oh, um yeah, just me. The boys are kind of busy.” You try to lie, but you know that by the redness on your face he might catch up to your lie. He looks at you to try and decipher if you think he is stupid or something. Before he could answer you say a quick goodbye as you climb into your car, and start the car getting ready to drive. It takes you 40 minutes to get to your friend’s house to talk to her. After venting to her for an hour; you both went to the club. You just needed to forget about the boys’ words for a bit. You look at your phone before you go inside the club to see the hour 12:59am. Good hour to be on a club you think as you make your way towards the bar with your friend. Time passes by like a blink as you drink, and dance with your friend. Before you know it you are in the middle of the dance floor as you dance with your friend.

You look around the club to see two familiar faces, but you are too drunk to remember their names. You do know that they won’t stop looking at you, so you take advantage that you are with a friend to tease a little. There is no ill will if you tease them. You turn towards your friend pulling her closely to you. She is taller than you which helps the case. You whisper in her ear that there are two hot boys looking at you, and that you wanted to give them a show. She looks to where you tell her; she finds Dream and Sapnap looking at the two of you from a far. She laughs knowing that you love the boys so much that you even find their stare in a crowded club while you are drunk. She sees that the boys look mad, but knowing plenty of your sexual experiences with the boys from what you’ve told her. She knows you’ll just love to tease them, so that they punish you. She agrees to help you, so your wrap your hand around her neck as you make eye contact with the boys. They move slightly closer, so that they can see you under the disco light. Your skin glows under the purple light that reflects off your shoulder and leg. The boys watch as you kiss your friend’s neck while looking at them. You slowly give mouth opened kisses to her skin maintaining eye contact. You glide your tongue on her skin slowly tasting the sweet cookie dough cologne on her skin.

You turn your back on your friend facing towards the boys as you grab your friend’s hands, and glide them down your body taking extra time on your boobs, and your stomach stopping at your pelvic bone. You grind your ass back on your friend’s pelvis looking at the boys seeing as the taller boy tries to make his way towards you, but the smaller boy holds him back mumbling something that you could only decipher as “let’s see what she does”. You smirk as them as you make sexier moves against your friend; your hands grab her neck pulling it towards you, and she understands what you want. She pretends to give you a kiss on your neck as you roll your head back letting out a fake moan that the boys don’t hear, but they can imagine that you are in pleasure. You look over them to see a bulge in both of their pants; you smirk noticing that they are both big as you take swing of your beer finishing it completely. You give big gulps showing that you in fact swallow before turning to be front to front with your friend. You repeat the kisses on her neck while looking at the boys, and you feel your own breath getting heavier. You look over to see the smaller boys rub over the taller boy’s bulge; you feel your panties get wetter at the action. You turn to your friend and move forward to give her a kiss, but before you can make contact with her lips you feel a pair of arms pulling you away. You look up to see the taller boy holding you in his arms looking awfully angry at you. You scurry off his embrace as you tell them that you don’t want anything with them. The guy gets a tighter grip on you, and you try to move away only to be sandwiched into the body of the smaller guy.

“Y/n look at me; you know who I am” You look up at the mention of your name; to find Dream staring down at you.

“Oh h- hey D-dream what are you doing here?” You say mind still too gone to make coherent sentences.

“Um yeah, she got very drunk. Saying something about not being good enough for the two of you” Your friend intervenes. Dream looks at Sapnap behind you to give Sap a worried look.

“So, everything that she was flirting with us; she didn’t do it to be a brat?” Sapnap asks confused.

“Well, she wanted to ‘tease two hot guys’ that’s what she said, so even as she was drunk. She is still attracted to the two of you” Your friend smiles remembering “I remember when you guys became a couple. She felt so out of place because she liked the two of you. She was going to move in with me to not disturb you two. She is really in love with the two of you, so whatever the fuck the two of you did. You better fix it or I will take her to live with me. The poor girl drove all the way to my house to spend an hour crying about how the two of you didn’t love her” Your friend reproaches your boyfriends as you are finding comfort in the tall man’s arms your mind not even paying attention to their conversation as you admire the hot boys.

“She- she really thought we didn’t love her?” Dream’s voice cracks as he looks down at you where you are staring at him lovingly.

“Yes, she always thought that she was ruining your relationship, and with the things you told her she felt like you guys just wanted to break up with her.” Your friend says giving the boys a bad look. “So, you guys take her with you. I’ll drive her car to my place; I didn’t drink, so I will be fine. How did you find her anyways?”

“We have an app to share location at any moment, so we know she is safe” Sapnap said as he led the way towards their car. They bid their goodbyes to your friend. Dream got in the driver’s seat as Sapnap went in the back with you. You sat next to Sapnap looking at the boy as you guys drove home.

“I can’t believe I’m going home with two hot boys. You guys chose me over all the girls in the club” You say your words stinging in the boys’ heart as they took a peek on what you thought of them.

“Well, to be honest. I was surprised; I thought you’d have a boyfriend” Dream says smoothly.

“I mean yeah. I used to have two boyfriends at the same time! Can you believe that? Two people loved me at the same time! Me!” you talked with surprise laced in your voice and the boys swallowed a lump in their throat as they saw how much you worshipped your relationship with them.

“Huh you must love them a lot” Sapnap said voice trembling as he watched your eyes shine.

“Of course, I do! They are the best boys I know. They are literally so perfect, but I don’t think they love me that much”

“Why do you think that?” This time Dream asked as his voice cracked at the change in demeanor you were clearly sad now.

“Well, they are just so perfect that sometimes I think they don’t need me. I think they would be even happier without me. I feel like I’m just ruining their relationship.” Sapnap is crying by the time you finish your statement. The boys can’t believe you would say such a thing. Did they really make you feel that way? They both felt so bad. Sapnap can’t help, but to leap in to hug you. His tears falling on your shoulder as you accept his hug still in your drunken state.

“But it’s okay if they don’t love me. They still have each other, and they are totally soulmates. So, if I leave; they will still be happy with each other.” You finish as Dream pulls into the driveway.

Part 2

[veryholland]

souvenirs of the heart | tom holland

SUMMARY: with tom back home, things couldn't be better – until an accidental discovery leads to an unplanned turn of events

WC: 3.3k | WARNINGS: none, except maybe a little suggestiveness towards the end | A/N: feels like ages since i wrote something that i actually published. thank you all for being so patient with me <3 side note: tumblr keeps clowning me, so if the paragraphs double or some are missing then i suggest reading on desktop, it should be fine there x

“I can’t tell you how much I missed this.”

A warm smile plays on your lips as you lock the door behind you before turning around to take in Tom, the words painted by the deep timbre of his voice hanging in the air between you. It’s weird to see him like this again—at home, not just through the screen of your laptop sitting on his vacant side of the bed.

You’ve done this a couple of times before, but it’s never been this long and although you knew from the start that this is what his profession entails, it still doesn’t soften the burden of distance.

The rosy tinged light of nearing dusk flitters down onto his form standing in the middle of the living room, his gaze circling between the simple but meaningful things he’s missed so much while being away. His favourite mugs standing proudly on top of the kitchen shelf, one of his sweaters draped over the back of the couch—the thought that you must’ve worn it while he wasn’t home bringing a serene smile to his lips—and finally the pictures of both of you on the wall.

For almost seven weeks, the walls surrounding him were empty—blank and lifeless.

The walls at home aren’t. They’re bursting with life, the story of your love captured in different photographs adorning the otherwise blank space.

With a grunt, he falls back onto the couch, legs spread out dramatically. You sidestep your discarded shoes, intending to grab his duffle bag and take it upstairs to unpack for him like you always do so he can catch a break, but Tom objects with a disapproving hum. A dopey smile stretches out on his face as he opens his arms, motioning you closer by a subtle wiggle of his fingers.

“C’mere, let’s do that later. You have to tell me about everything I’ve missed. Did Harry finally chat up that girl at the pub?”

Cocking an amused eyebrow at him, you walk over to the couch. “Really? You haven’t been at home for seven weeks and that’s what you ask first?”

“Well, I placed a bet on it with Sam. I got to earn my keep.”

You snort. “Some brother you are. Let the boy have his share.”

One corner of his mouth lifts into a lopsided grin when he looks at you, shrugging halfheartedly. Tingles rush through your entire body when his gaze traces every feature of your face as if he’s committing it to memory, his grin slowly settling into a faint smile that makes his eyes shine.

The tip of his finger starts tracing the bridge of your nose and you scrunch up your face, making him chuckle. “You’re so fucking cute.”

With your fingers curling around his wrist, you stop his movement and guide his hand to your lips to place a sweet kiss on his palm. Tom’s still marvelling at the radiant smile on your face, still not realising you’re finally with him again—right here in front of him. It’s like someone found a long lost puzzle piece and placed it back to where it belongs, making his heart feel whole again.

Dusk starts to turn into night as you sit there, diving into tales of everything he’s missed, trying to include details that he hasn’t yet heard from you over facetime. His nimble fingers toy with your own and you chase after every touch he’s willing to give you, the thrill of feeling his skin on yours buzzing through your body.

Gradually, his amused comments recede into mellow hums before he eventually falls completely silent and the only audible sounds next to you are the soft snores passing his lips. You let your current story fade away into the serene tranquillity of the room, the blissful smile that’s been occupying your lips for the past few hours still adorning your features.

Smoothing your palm over the fabric of his hoodie, you let your eyes follow its path before you break away to take in the sight right next to you.

A few loose curls fall out from where they’re hidden underneath his hood, concealing his unruly eyebrow. His lashes rest gently atop of his cheeks, which are flushed from exhaustion and your heart warms at the thought of him finally getting that desperately needed rest.

For a moment, you let your head fall against his own, welcoming the comfort of his presence.

Only now, you start to notice how much you really missed the subtle, little things about him. How the fresh spring air clings to the fabric of his hoodie, mingling with his very own fruity scent. How his hands rest gently on top of your leg, longing for the physical contact you missed terribly over the past seven weeks. How the heat he somehow always radiates wraps itself around your skin like a blanket.

It takes a few attempts until you finally get yourself to separate from the warmth of his body and even in sleep his hand subconsciously chases after yours when you slip out of his grasp to drape a blanket over his legs.

The plush surface of the sofa dips slightly as you stand up and you’re careful to avoid any unnecessary noise as you sidestep the coffee table and make your way upstairs, Tom’s duffel bag heavy in your hand.

You push open the bedroom door with your free hand and your gaze immediately falls to Tom’s side of the bed. The thought of it not being vacant tonight makes a giddy smile appear on your face and you can feel your cheeks burning up with anticipation.

The nights without him have been the hardest. You were occupied during the day—running errands, meeting up with friends or spending afternoons at work. Granted, you deliberately loaded up your schedule more than necessary to avoid spending too much time in an empty house, but it worked for you. At least until the door clicked shut behind you every evening and the silence engulfed you once more.

Leaning forward, you unzip Tom’s bag and begin to unpack, humming a soft tune to yourself, a habit you found yourself clinging onto during the past few weeks whenever you wished for the silence to go away.

Fabric ruffles and hangers clatter when you sort and put away the clothes he took with him, making two different piles of laundry. Blindly, you reach around in the side pockets of his duffel bag, wanting to make sure that you didn’t miss anything when your fingertips connect with something.

You welcome the fluttering sensation of butterflies’ wings in your stomach when you realise it’s a folded picture of you and Tom still in college—the one he always carries with him when he leaves. Creases and lines litter the surface and you smile fondly at the thought of him unfolding it so often before you safely put it back into the drawer of his nightstand and turn back around, facing the mess of clothes on your bed.

The soft pink fabric caresses the palm of your hand as you untangle one of your favourite hoodies of his and pull it close to your chest, intending to add it to the laundry pile when something clatters to the floor.

You shuffle to the side, brows drawn together in concern when you search the floor, nerves coiling in your stomach as you desperately hope it wasn’t one of his watches. But the anticipated breath of relief gets stuck in your throat when your eyes find an entirely different item instead.

Right there, sitting on the plush white carpet was a dark blue velvet box.

It’s like an invisible force took your ability to breathe. For a second your world seems to have stopped spinning. Slowly, you put the hoodie that you’re still holding tightly against your chest aside and bend down to pick it up. Shaky hands enter your own vision and you stop once more to force a breath down your lungs in order to calm yourself. You’re jumping to conclusions and you know it.

With the tip of your finger, you trace the velvety surface of the box. Although it’s light in weight, it sits heavily in your palm, the knowledge that you weren’t supposed to find this weighing down on you.

Blindly reaching backwards, eyes never dropping focus, you sink down onto the bed’s edge. Carefully, you cradle the box in your hands to look at it properly. It could bear anything inside. It’s without any doubt a ring box, but that doesn’t have to mean anything—right?

Although the only way to find out, the only way of getting rid of the nagging curiosity looming in the back of your head, would be to just open it, you somehow can’t get your fingers to move and execute the action. The simplicity of it is taunting you, but still, there’s something stopping you. And although you’re not opening it, you somehow know exactly what you’re holding in your hand right now—your future.

“Baby, did you already take my–”

His gravelly, tired voice fades into silence as he stops short in the doorway, sleep-ridden eyes suddenly wide awake when they connect with yours before dropping down to your hands dauntingly slow.

“I’m so so sorry,” you start, scrambling to apologise, the box now burning your palm, flames of shame licking at your skin. You dive into a messy explanation of how it fell out, standing up to point towards the bed where all his clothes are spread out and you ramble on, not noticing how he slowly moved towards you.

He’s right there when you turn around and the words that were about to tumble off of your tongue, fade into thin air. His gaze isn’t on you when his hands envelop yours holding the box and for the first time in your life you can’t place the look in his eyes and it makes you feel terribly helpless.

With an indescribable tenderness, his thumbs brush over the back of your hand and although he seems to be needing a short moment to collect himself, calming the worries in your mind is still his utmost priority.

“Oh, darling.” A breathy chuckle flits out of his lips and you welcome it like a lifeline thrown out into the raging sea. The vice-like grip around your heart immediately lessens and the uncomfortable feeling fades away completely when his soft brown eyes finally meet yours.

With a dazzling smile that makes his dimples appear, he softly brushes wisps of loose hair out of your face, his eyes following the trace of his fingers before they settle on yours again.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t bring my lovely girlfriend a souvenir after weeks of being away, huh?”

His nimble fingers fumble with the box in his hands and with his eyes cast down again, his eyelashes feather over the top of his rosy cheekbones.

“I bought this two days after I left,” he starts with a tilt of his head, making his rumpled curls fall into his forehead. Your hands make contact when both of you try to brush it back at the same time and he smiles up at you, withdrawing his hand to let you do it.

“Two days is nothing compared to the seven weeks I spent away but it was all I needed to realise that I don’t want that.”

His words make your nerves bubble up again, but when he notices, his smile immediately transfers into an alarmed expression, realising he’s ushering your thoughts in the entirely opposite direction. “I don’t want it, darling,” he clarifies with an expression bearing so much comfort. “A life without you in it—a place without you isn’t home. This place without you wouldn’t be home.”

He laughs with a gentle shake of his head, motioning downwards and your eyes follow his hands’ path to take in how he’s looking right now. Creases, which the long flight and nap on the couch are responsible for, tear through his hoodie’s soft fabric. His favourite washed jeans are sitting low on his hips, hems unevenly cuffed. His curls are a tumbling mess but you adore the natural state they’re in right now. Soft and untamed.

You couldn’t care less that he’s not wearing a suit right now. That his hair isn’t coiffed to perfection. That you’re standing in the midst of your bedroom. This version of him is your favourite. Tender smile, tired eyes, comfy clothes. This is him at home and you love it.

“It takes no genius to figure out that this isn’t how I planned this to go, but now that I think about it, it’s kind of perfect. It’s unplanned and that’s how it all started.” His eyes drift over your face, then his fingers follow, brushing loose tendrils of hair aside with a lover’s touch. “Meeting you because you barged into my college dorm, thinking it was your friend’s, was unplanned. Kissing you for the first time because you’re too adorable not to when you’re rambling, was unplanned—falling in love with you was unplanned but it’s the best turn my life ever took and I’ll spend the rest of my days being grateful for that.”

His eyes never leave your face, his gaze tracing every detail of your reaction, when he slowly turns the box around so it’s facing you. Tears blur your vision, but you blink them away quickly and out of the corner of your eye, you can see him slowly opening the box. Still, your eyes still refuse to leave his, finding comfort in the warm specks of gold dancing through his brown orbs like fireflies in the dark of the night.

I love you, he mouths and you respond with a wobbly smile before your gaze finally drops down.

It’s beautiful. Dazzling. Delicately woven lines of silver imbed a dainty diamond in their centre and you’re mesmerised by the way it catches the smallest flicker of light in its core. Your eyes are drawn to it for a moment longer until you catch Tom fidgeting on his spot. In a mere fraction of a second, your gaze flits up back to his face just in time to catch him nervously trapping his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Do you—” He cocks his head with a nervous smile. “Do you like it?”

The smile on your face mixes with the few tears that spill over when you nod, not believing that this moment is real. If you had control over your own movements right now, you’d pinch yourself, but you’re still frozen in place, realisation only slowly setting in.

“It’s perfect. This is perfect. And I wouldn’t want it any other way, Tom.”

A breath of relief tumbles out of his mouth and both of your airy laughs mingle to form a beautiful melody.

“My whole life, I’ve been waiting for you. Now I’m asking you if you want to spend the rest of our lives together.”

His hands envelop your own and his eyes dip down quickly to watch his thumb brush over your bare ring finger. The nerves are visible on his face and you smile before laying your palms on his cheeks to tilt his head up so your eyes connect. Only the ridiculously small gap separating you, allows him to catch the breathy words escaping your parted lips.

“Ask me,” you whisper, knowing that the answer to a question not yet voiced is already lingering among those five letters.

Gratitude shines in his eyes when he realises what you’re doing and his now soothed nerves finally allow him to ask what has been dancing on the tip of his tongue for a very long time. “Will you marry me?”

Mid question, you already started nodding and your tears fully spill over when you watch his entire face light up before he gathers you in a crushing hug, his arms winding around your waist to anchor you to him. This is what home feels like.

His shaky breath of relief fans over your neck when he tries the words out on his tongue. “You’ll marry me.”

You keep clinging to him when you nod once more.

“Say it,” he pleads and the words come so naturally to you, you feel like they always belonged.

“I’ll marry you, Tom.”

“You’ll marry me,” he repeats with a trembling voice, almost as if he still hasn’t realised it. After placing a kiss on your neck that’s so feathery and soft you barely notice it, he pulls back, and your heart tumbles about in your chest when you spot a few tears of his own leaving a shimmery path on his rosy cheeks.

Putting the box aside, he takes your left hand in the warm palm his bigger one with an underlying tenderness that makes your heart flip inside your chest, before carefully slipping the ring onto your finger. Teary-eyed but with a smile so big it makes your cheeks hurt, you wiggle them around a bit, watching how the dainty diamond catches the mellow light in the room, intensifying its silvery glow.

“It looks gorgeous on you,” he mumbles, his fingers curling around your neck to guide you closer to him. Adoration lights up his brown orbs when he drops a sweet kiss to your forehead but instead of pulling back, his lips linger near your skin, feathering over your temple, your cheek and finally the corner of your mouth where he leaves another kiss that makes your heart soar.

Cheekily, he nips at your bottom lip with his teeth, coaxing a smile from you that he immediately returns. And when his lips finally cover yours, it feels like he’s giving back a piece of you that left with him, allowing you to come up for air after a long time of being underwater.

With reluctance stalling his movements, he pulls back from you slowly, looking down at you through hooded eyelids while his lips settle in a mischievous smile. A cheeky blush creeps its way onto his cheeks and you’re about to ask what’s that smile for when words of his own fill the silence.

“You know,” he pauses to try and hide his bold smile but fails miserably. “That’s not the only souvenir I brought.”

The back of his hand brushes over the front of your tummy when he bends sideways and reaches into his bag. You watch with your brows drawn together in curiosity and your lips part with an incredulous exhale when he lifts his hand again, revealing a snowy white set of lingerie dangling from his long fingers.

A burning blush works its way across your cheeks and Tom watches with amusement clear in his gaze. His hand is still splayed out on the small of your back and he nudges you even closer to his front, making both of your bodies sway from side to side. Movement accompanied by an incredulous chuckle, your hands brush over his pecs before they find purchase on his broad shoulders to help and steady you before you lift your gaze again.

“You’re not as sneaky as you think, Holland.”

“Oh but I am,” he quips, before leaning closer so his lips brush over the shell of your ear. “Holland.”

Your heart sets out for a beat or two when your soon-to-be last name rolls of his tongue like he’s been waiting to call you that for a long, long time. Shivers ripple down your spine in pleasant waves and with a huff, your hand wraps around the lacy material in his hand. He lets it slip out of his grasp with ease, the eagerness in his expression making you snicker.

“Wait here.”

if you made it to this point, i'd be incredibly grateful if you shared your thoughts with me <3

TAGLIST: @annathesillyfriend @thsquad @lovehollandy12 @cherienymphe @watermelonsugarsigh @celestialholland @heavenlyholland @earthlyholland

[flurrys-creativity]

Okay so I’m the anon that’s ask if your are comfortable doing a cheating fic and also the same one that ask for the sehun fic too 🙈 btw it was really good and I love it lost thank you.

Okay so the fic will be for sehun 🤫 we’re like he’s Been cheating on his girlfriend with y/n and it’s been going on for a couple of months now and one day sehuns girlfriend walks in on them having sex like reader is riding sehun on the couch and when his girlfriend walks she starts yelling and than she hits y/n so that’s when sehun gets mad and confess to his girlfriend about their affair. And also reader didn’t know he was in a relationship. with a happy end pls 🥺

I dearly hope I got the right interpretation of happy end now :D Anyway! I wrote it already!!!!(the power of me procrastinating on every other project AND work :D )

I hope you like it!

Cheat Code

Pairing: Oh Sehun (EXO) x Fem!Reader; Genre: Drama, Romance, Slice of life, Cheating AU, somewhat Established Relationship AU; Rating: nsfw, 18+; Warnings: unprotected sex, riding, kissing, slight breast play, getting caught, a furious woman, reader getting slapped, reader getting called a slut more than once and a whore, Sehun pushing said furious woman, feeling heartbroken and betrayed, showering, nudity; Wordcount: 2. 364

Summary: You were having the time of your life with Sehun when suddenly his girlfriend walked in on you two and chaos ensued.

You bit down on your lower lip, the drag of his dick inside your walls made you delirious. A moan escaped your lips when he thrusted into you, disrupting your slow and sensual pace. “If you wanted to fuck me, you shouldn’t have begged me to ride you”, you told him, brushing strands of hair out of his face.

“Couldn’t help myself”, he grinned and tightened his hold on your hips, thrusting harshly into you once more.

“Such a tease.” You leaned down and kissed him, grinning just like him. You didn’t care whether he took control or you had to take the lead. As long as you were together with him, you were content with anything.

You met Sehun at a coffee shop months ago and both of you were star struck the minute you two locked eyes with each other. At first you two only met for a regular coffee but soon enough the tension between you grew big enough that you had brought him home with you. Ever since you met each other as often as possible, sharing woes and worries, eating out together or simply enjoying the time you spent together. 

So when Sehun texted you he had an especially rough day, you promised to come over as soon as you were done with work. The minute he opened his door, he pulled you against his toned body and kissed you deeply, sighing softly as his hands ran over your body. You had giggled but played along nonetheless. 

That’s how you found yourself riding him on the couch in the middle of the living room. You had exchanged your shirt with his button up, leaving his upper body bare. Your hands glided over his pecs and toned muscles, your mouth salivating with the wonderful view he gave you.

His hand brushed over your skin as he moved it from your hip to your breast, cupping it with his large hand and pressing kisses on it through the fabric of his button up. “You look stunning in my clothes”, he whispered and nosed over the bare skin between your breasts.

You closed your eyes and threw your head back, letting yourself fall with his soft ministrations. A stark contrast to his harsh thrusts into you. Though you wouldn’t complain with all the attention and love he gave you. With Sehun you felt worshipped.

Sehun looked up at you, smiling softly when your eyes met. You made him feel alive, even on days where everything went wrong. You only had to hug him - no, even a smile was enough for him - to feel better and stronger than before, ready to fight again. His hands wandered to your back and shoulders, pulling your whole body down on his dick, locking you there while he thrusted harshly into you. Sehun’s eyes never left your face, seeing how it twisted in pleasure and how moans and whines fell from your lips with each thrust.

You stilled when you opened your eyes again, seeing someone standing in the doorway to the living room. You stared at the woman with wide eyes. Your mind was still clouded with lust and the confusion that spread through your body didn’t help you with reacting to her.

The woman stood there just as still, staring at you and Sehun. When he finally realised that something was wrong and turned his head towards her, she broke out of her stupor. Her nostrils flared in anger and an ear piercing scream filled the apartment. 

She stormed over to you and before either of you were able to react, the woman slapped you right across the face.

Tears sprung into your eyes and the skin on your cheek stung from the impact. Your body automatically reacted with your hand touching your burning cheek in shock. 

She was about to hit you again, when you pushed yourself away from Sehun and stumbled away from the woman, bringing a safe distance between the both of you. Your eyes shortly dropped towards Sehun, who looked equally stunned, before they shot back up to the woman.

You saw tears streaming down her cheeks, fury burning in her eyes while she screamed profanities at you.

Slowly you recovered from the first shock and pulled Sehun’s shirt close in front of your body, hiding your nudity. Your eyes flicked between that woman and Sehun until your brain finally decided to listen to the words the woman was spewing.

“HOW COULD YOU?!?? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME? WHO IS THAT SLUT? WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME? Sehun, baby!!! Please! Say something! Explain yourself!” Her screams turned down into whaling as she sat down next to Sehun and grabbed his upper arm, shaking it violently while she sobbed loudly.

“What do you mean by cheating?” You asked, confused with her antics. Your gaze shifted towards Sehun once again, who stared blankly into the distance the horror painted on his face.

The woman jumped up again upon hearing your voice, pointing a manicured nail at you. “I am his girlfriend! What are you doing with my boyfriend? How can you live with yourself knowing he has a doting girlfriend?”

You stared at her in disbelief, needing several moments before your gaze dropped to Sehun, waiting for him to say something - hoping for him to deny those words.

“HOW DARE YOU LOOK AT HIM?!” The woman screeched and lunged herself forward again, ready to attack you with her long nails.

You stepped back again, bringing the small couch table between you and her. Even if her accusations were right, you wouldn’t accept her slapping you again. Once was more than enough for you and definitely uncalled for since you had no idea.

“I didn’t know about you!” You shouted back at her, trying to reach that woman over her screaming.

“DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT ME? WE’RE WEARING MATCHING NECKLACES WITH OUR NAMES!” She grabbed the golden necklaces and showed it to you, pointing at Sehun’s name with her other hand. “How could you slut destroy our relationship?!”

You weren’t able to answer her when Sehun suddenly stood up and placed his hand on her shoulder, turning her towards him with an ice cold gaze. He had pulled his pants back up, leaving him only shirtless.

You felt like vomiting when you saw her hands wandering over his chest in a desperate plea. You tried to ignore her and focused on Sehun instead, wanting to hear what he had to say.

“It’s over between us.” His eyes held absolutely no emotion towards that woman and he slowly pushed her away from his body, not wanting her to touch him like that.

“Over?! OVER? How could you say that now? Please, let us talk when that slut isn’t clouding your mind!”

“Don’t call her that!” Sehun pushed her away, this time more harshly, ignoring her outcry while she stumbled backwards. “I fell out of love with you for a long time now. Even before I met Y/N. I’m sorry I dragged it out. I should have said something sooner.”

“Said something sooner?” You spoke up this time, looking at him in disbelief. “What do you mean by sooner? Before we started seeing each other, before we started dating or before we started having sex?” Instead of waiting for an answer you scoffed and walked around the room to pick your clothes up.

“Yeah, get lost, you whore!”

You ignored her statement, too caught up in your own thoughts. You felt like a robot with how stiff you moved around to get dressed again, only stopping in your movements when Sehun grabbed you by your shoulders. You looked up at him, feeling the tears rimming at the corner of your eyes.

“Stay”, he whispered softly, brushing a lonely tear away from your cheek. “Please.”

“Do you have any idea how used I feel right now?” Your voice cracked at the end of your question even though you didn’t speak above a whisper yourself.

Sehun shook his head. “I can only imagine. But I beg of you to stay. Please let me explain myself.”

Your mind told you to leave and take the longest and hottest shower as soon as possible, while your heart begged you to listen to him. It begged you to stay with him, begged you to ask him for a tight hug, wanting nothing more than to be held by his strong arms. You closed your eyes, contemplating your options before you sighed deeply. “I’ll take a shower”, you said in resignation and turned away from Sehun, walking towards his bathroom. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw the girlfriend fuming, ready to spew more profanities if it weren’t for Sehun’s cold voice grabbing her attention.

You couldn’t and didn’t want to listen to their conversation, undressing yourself and stepping into the shower, turning the handle to scorching hot and waiting for the water to burn your sins from your skin.

If you had known he had a girlfriend you wouldn’t have slept with him, wouldn’t have met with him. At least you tried telling yourself that, knowing full well you would have tried everything to be with him nonetheless. After all, you loved him with all your heart and soul. You watched the water run down your body and down the drain, caught up in your thoughts and self loathing. You wondered how you were able to be that blind, not noticing that he had a girlfriend already. You even tried to remember whether he wore a golden necklace the first time you two met but nothing sparked your memory.

“Y/N?”

You looked up to see Sehun’s shadow on the other side of the shower curtain. He nervously played with his fingers and stepped from one foot to another. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know”, you answered him in a monotonous voice. You felt empty and confused, angry and maybe even heartbroken or desperate, though you didn’t want to get even lower with your pride.

“May I come in?”

You stared at Sehun’s shadow, momentarily confused with what he meant until you saw him strip out of his pants and step into the shower, hissing when the hot water hit his skin. You continued to stare at him, almost listlessly while he adjusted the heat of the water and finally turned towards you, looking at you with worried eyes.

“I’m sorry to have put you in such a situation. She’s gone now and she returned my keys as well and I broke up with her now and, and, and… I’m sorry.”

You hummed lowly, not feeling like actively engaging in that conversation. You didn’t even know why you stayed in the first place.

“It was already over with her when we started seeing each other. I was just caught up with my love for you and obviously extremely dumb because I didn’t break up with her completely. We were on a break when I met you because it wasn’t quite peachy between the both of us. I didn’t see her or anything, I honestly forgot that we were technically still together.”

“How could you forget something like that?” Your voice sounded off, as if it didn’t belong to you anymore. The tone was harsh and unforgiving, slashing Sehun’s attempts of apologising immediately.

“I don’t know. It’s dumb. I just didn’t think about it.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair, pushing it out of his face - an obvious indicator how distressed he felt. His eyes met yours, the pain vivid in them as he searched for any emotion in yours. “Please”, he begged, unsure what exactly he begged for.

“You lied to me”, you whispered, a sob breaking through your lips and tears mixing with the water of the shower. “How can I trust you again when you lied to me?”

“I’m sorry”, he said and pulled you against his chest, hugging you tightly while you sobbed into his arms. “I’m so so sorry.” He apologised over and over again, simply holding you and waiting until you calmed down. “I promise I won’t lie to you ever again! I love you, Y/N, I love you so so much. Please, please forgive me.”

You listened to his beating heart and the water dropping on your bodies. You raised your hands, placing one on your own chest and the other on his, comparing your heartbeats with each other. “I love you too”, you whispered almost inaudibly, new tears streaming down your face. Even though you felt hurt, you still loved him. You looked up at Sehun, blinking through the water to see his face. 

He looked pained and worried, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he feared you might push him away at any second.

“I need a new start”, you said loudly enough for him to hear, seeing how the hope in his eyes crashed and his shoulders dropped with despair. “I want to scratch everything and forget about this - especially what happened today.”

“I understand.”

“No, you don’t.” Your voice was stern and you knew your gaze was way too serious for your next words. “I love you and I want a new start. A start with no lies or secrets. I need a clean start. Let me fall in love with you again.” You took a deep breath, thinking over your options once more, hoping you were making the right call. “Tomorrow”, you caught Sehun’s eyes and made sure he followed each of your words, “I’ll be at the café ready to be bumped into by the love of my life and start going on dates with him.”

Sehun looked at you, needing a moment to process your words, before he broke into a teary grin, thanking you over and over again. He hid his face in the crook of your neck, shaking violently from his relieved cries.

You snaked your arms around his neck and hugged him just as tightly, softly stroking over his hair while humming a soothing melody. You loved him and despite his grave mistake you would continue to love him until you took your last breath.

© all rights reserved  

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland

[caravelmp3]

UNDER THE CANYON MOON

pairing: josh kiszka x female!reader warning(s): mostly fluff, just brief mentions of alcohol and sex  word(s): 2k note: hi hi hi !! this is just a little something i wrote up the last couple of days with the inspiration of light my love, canyon moon by harry styles, and the interview where josh talked about road-tripping the u.s. last summer <3 i don’t write one shots often but let me know what you all think bc i might shuffle some more out soon lol. hope you all enjoy !! :) 

The Los Angeles sun was hot, beating down onto the city basking in its late-summer hues. You parked your car on the street in Silver Lake and carried a bag of food and drink tray to the door of a recording studio, more than prepared to be swarmed by hungry boys who had been cooped up in the studio since five a.m. on the dot that morning. They had a breakthrough the night before with a new song, and after getting home and going to bed for a few hours, the creative juices started flowing again and they were back in the booth. 

A windchime on the door sang as you pulled the door open and walked inside, greeting their manager who was at a table by the door. 

“The boys here?” 

“Down the hall,” he nodded, pointing a finger in the direction of the hallway. “They’re more rowdy than usual so be prepared,” 

You laughed and turned down the hall, walking towards the studio. The walls were decorated with memorabilia of rock and roll greats and record plaques, and among them, you spotted a picture of the four boys with their Grammy award. It seemed like time had passed so quickly. They won the award for the first album and they were already working on their third, shooting them further into stardom. 

“Coffee’s here!” You shouted in a really bad New England accent when you noticed the recording light was flipped off above the door. 

You stepped into the room to a chorus of cheers and “thank god you're here”’s that made you laugh while sitting the food and drinks down on the table and they all rushed over. You handed out the specific orders and pointed to which drinks was theirs when they got handsy and tried to grab everything from her out of both excitement and some desperation for caffeine. 

“Our savior,” Jake said, reaching out and grabbing your shoulders to give them a gentle shake before taking the coffee you were holding out to him, and then you handed Danny’s to him, too. 

“Just the coffee girl here,” 

“Well, you’re a little bit more than that,” Josh said, walking over to the table to grab his full cup. 

You pressed a hand against the table, leaning over to him. “Just a little?” 

“A little bit,” he shot you a wink before swiftly pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

You were more than just a “little more” than the coffee girl, you were typically their designated drunk driver, the one who took all of their candid photos, the mediator in times of need, and well, the girlfriend of the lead singer, too. 

Everyone in the studio took their food and drinks and scattered among the seating area in a break from recording. Instead of one tiny room with all of them cramped together, they had a wide open space with booths for the different instruments and bean bag chairs and big comfy, velvet sofas, and there was dim lighting with deep toned rugs that gave off the vibe of a more relaxed feel rather than the fluorescent-light, tiled-floor feeling that made them feel rushed and confined by rules they didn’t set themselves. 

You liked the studio, too, and often took naps on the sofa while listening to them play instruments individually in the recording booths and while they were writing. One night they had found you at two a.m., bundled up with a blanket on the bean bag chair after they spent the night writing in the front room on the piano, but it wasn’t the first time as you often napped in their Nashville recording offices, too. 

“You guys been busy today?” You asked jokingly while lowering onto the sofa armrest, receiving nothing but glares shot in your direction. “Okay, okay, touchy subject,” 

With a mouthful of bread, Sam pointed to Josh, “Josh finished a song, didn’t you?” He was grinning. 

You hummed in joy and surprise, grabbing Josh’s knee as he sat next to you. “Really?” 

It had been a rough few days for all of them as they tried to shuffle out a few more additions to the new album. It felt incomplete with something missing, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on what it was exactly, so they attempted to bring back and revamp old songs, write and record new ones, but nothing seemed to stick, until now. 

“Yeah, wanted to wait and show you later, but someone can’t keep his trap shut.” Josh said, pretending to be serious before cracking a smile and taking a sip of his coffee. “Just wanted it to be a surprise,” 

“Well it can still be a surprise, I’m surprised now,” you said. “Can I hear it? Or read what you got?” 

Josh nodded and stood, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. There was a little recording room fit with a piano inside, his writing journal placed on the music stand where he had scribbled notes and keys and melodies in pen. He picked it up and handed it to you. 

“Nothing seemed to click until last night, when I started putting it together.” He said. 

“Is that why you wouldn’t tell me what it was when you all got back to the house?” 

Josh shrugged, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to be special when you first heard it.”

You sat the coffee cup down onto the floor while lowering into the small chair in the corner, holding the journal like it was the most delicate piece of art in the world. In silence, while Josh watched on anxiously, you read the words he had splayed across the blank page. 

     Can you light my love?      Flames glowing bright as the sun      Deeper than oceans you run      Watch as our world has begun 

     Your mind is a stream of colors      Extending beyond our sky      A land of infinite wonders      A billion lightyears from here now

You felt your throat tighten, tears tempted your eyes. 

It was a love song. 

“Josh-” 

“Oh god you hate it don’t you, you dread it, despise it,” 

“Oh shut up, I’m in tears right now, you know I love it.” You looked up at him with a smile and a sniffle. 

His words across the page were sloppy, some cursive, written in different pens of different colors, some lines crossed and scribbled out, others underlined. 

“Your mind is something I will never fully understand.” You told him as he sat down on the chair next to you. “How the fuck did you come up with this-” 

“I was thinking about our trip out here, the week we spent driving out and all of the stuff we did… and how I think I fell more in love with you.” His voice softened. 

You reached out, placing your arm on his shoulder, fingers playing with his curls. “I can’t put it into words how much I love it, how much I love you,” you said, “and you make me sound so lovely when in reality I know I was a pain in the ass that entire trip.” 

“Yeah, but my pain in the ass,” he kissed the inside of your arm. 

Two weeks before the boys left Nashville to head to Los Angeles, Josh called you at midnight with an idea in mind – the two of you renting a camper to drive out to L.A., falling into all of the tourist traps along the way and stopping in random small towns to sleep while exploring the in between, which would definitely beat the boring four-hour flight. And you, half asleep and across the country, agreed. 

It would be fun. Right? 

And it was. Every time someone asked how it went, you called it “the most magical week of my life.” 

While the others waited behind for their flights the next week, you and Josh set off from Nashville, heading west with only the destination in mind and a trusty map in hand. Everything else just came to you both. 

The first stop was three hours in the trip, in Memphis. You and Josh roamed Graceland on Elvis Presley Boulevard and had lunch near Sun Studio before taking in the mementos and relics at the Blues Hall of Fame where Josh talked your ear off, rattling off more details about each band and singer than was on the info-cards on the wall. 

Then it was two hours to Little Rock, falling asleep in the back of the camper after a take-out dinner outside of a random supermarket. Sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of a parking lot, you held Josh’s hand under a blanket and watched the pink sunrise over the hills, and then it was back on the road again. 

From Oklahoma City to Amarillo, you fiddled with the map when Josh got lost after a wrong turn in a small town where he insisted on seeing the giant 66-foot LED soda bottle sculpture, and in the middle of northern Texas, he made it up to you by cooking your favorite dinner. You thanked him in a quiet whisper as you crawled into the bed with him that night, sliding under the covers where he greeted you with warm hands and kisses against your neck that made you squeal with the tickle of his mustache and he grinned against your lips. 

Josh got to choose the music all the way through New Mexico – Neil Young and Crazy Horse to John Denver’s Thank God I’m A Country Boy, and you were only able to squeeze in Joan Baez every hour when you stopped to stretch your legs on the side of the road, belting the words to him while he laughed at your voice cracks. 

And after you both pitched the tent in the Petrified Forest in Arizona, Josh hummed the tune to some new song while you two sat under the midnight stars in the canyon with a roaring fire, his arm around you, his sweatshirt draped over your shoulders. When he tried to start telling you a scary story after you heard a weird noise outside the tent, you blindly hit him in the dark and accidentally hit his nose, causing you both to burst into laughter after the initial panic left. He laughed loudly into your shoulder as you held his face in shock, catching the scent of your lavender lotion, and his body relaxed when the laughter died down, feeling so at peace in his life with you there. 

It was the tail end of the trip, but the excitement hadn’t died down yet. After showers in the camper in the middle-of-nowhere-Arizona and five hours west, you and Josh found a bar outside of Las Vegas that resembled Coyote Ugly, so you both had a round of tequila sodas and margaritas before walking around the small town that evening and sleeping off the tipsy-headaches in the air conditioning. On top of the covers, you looked at Josh napping in the sunshine, cheeks flushed red, curls poofy from the wind, and you felt your heart grow in your chest before falling asleep next to him. 

And then came Los Angeles, the final stop, the dreaded one. But you and Josh didn’t tell anyone that either of you were sad to be back with them in L.A. when they asked, and instead, you two smiled and hugged everyone after piling out of the camper in the drive-way of the Silver Lake house. 

Cleaning out the camper, tossing cheesy novelty t-shirts at each other and laughing at how many socks you two managed to lose along the way and how many bug bites were added, watching the developed clips Josh had filmed of scenes in the desert and you asleep in the passenger seat, you both were nostalgic about a trip that just ended. 

It was so easy, so freeing to just be together on the road, with only the destination in mind. It revealed a part of them that the other didn’t see often, like your tendencies to get your lefts and rights mixed up while giving directions, and Josh’s equally awful sense of direction didn’t exactly pair with the fact that he was a maniac while driving in the first place. 

But those parts were just added to the long list of why you and him loved each other in the first place. So you became the designated driver after Amarillo and Josh stuck to telling you “left or right” for the rest of the time. It was a compromise, another reason why you two worked so well together. 

It was a form of love in itself. 

“We’ll have to drive all the way back to Nashville then, so you can write more songs about me.” You teased. 

Josh rolled his eyes but cracked into a grin a second later. “Let’s not get too carried away,” but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t always mentally reliving the night under the canyon moon.